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Thursday, November 26, 2015


So I found this on my Notes and I wonder why I never published it.


I love you, but you put arrow to my knees.

And I don't know how long will I stand. 

You know loving someone is like putting a gun to your head, and giving the trigger to your loved one, wishing he could never pull it. 

I think, he almost pulled the trigger. 
I don't know whether he is slowly letting me linger from his side, but if you no longer love someone, it is better if you tell them, not show them. 

I spent all my days literally with him, and I just don't know what to do if we break up. Going to the same place, sleeping in the same bed, breathing the same air, doing things we used to do. It doesn't mean I am wishing to break up, but why do I fight for someone that isn't even here anymore? 

Because all my days are spent loving him, I have not yet prepared un-loving him. 

I am typing this while I am alone on a public place where it is a rooftop bar and the sky is so pretty with all the lights, wishing he was here beside me. I'd lay my head onto his shoulder and hold his hand, like I used to do whenever I looked at him and realized, for over and over again, how much he meant to me. 

Oh Gosh, it is a little bit crazy how much I love him and how much his hug screams 'forever'. 

It is also crazy how delusional am I to think 'okay he's the one' without actually preparing for the worst. 

But, indeed is a crazy world we live in, no?

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