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Thursday, August 6, 2015

An anon asked me what I am currently feeling and cannot help but type this:

'Pretty sad because I am back to my old habit, which is I can only sleep max. 3 hours a day. I have this urge feeling to leave anything behind and just walkaway. The last time I went through this phase is because I was so depressed, and right now, frankly I am so afraid I'd go down that tunnel again. Maybe it's time for the pills again...'

I deliberately deleted that and I just need somewhere to post this. When I am typing this, I have taken two pills (yea, thank God I am keeping those) and I am on the verge of crying because I just cannot believe I have to go through this again.

Do you ever feel this kind of thing where you just want to give up because there is no point in trying? It's like you are cursed and damned for eternity. I am just really, really mad at life because if there is a God, why would You do this to me?

I am broke as fuck, but I only got several pills left. It keeps me steady only for two more nights. I just can't do this.. I just cannot walk through this path anymore.

I am sorry but I am nearly done with this shit

2 comments:

  1. If there's anything I can do to help you. You should know that I think you're a really good writer. You are loved. You are special. You have many good qualities, even if you can’t see them. Other people can. Just by seeing your blog, I know that you are an amazing person because you're writing is that good. I don't know what you've been through, but please don't give up on this.

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