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Tuesday, March 12, 2013


Lately I have been infiltrating my friends with a lot of 'I want to dye my hair' 'I want to have a bike' 'I want to join a dance class' 'I want to move into a new place'. At first, perhaps it all seems like I am such a labile person who wants to try everything. I respond to it like 'I just wanna dye my fucking hair' but I know they get to a point where I should reconsider. Actually, all I want to do is change.

Why change?

I know I have a great and busy life. I cant recall the last time I literally do nothing. I had a breakdown and it kinda changed my whole life upside down. I cant tell if its only a total goodness coming out from it, but I call it evolving. Still.

I am busy, but it all goes on the same daily routine. Going to college at Monday to Friday, working on Saturday and Sunday. Usual dating at Saturday night, and some unplanned datings on the other days. The bad side of office working is everything is just the same. Back then when I was a freelance usher, I worked at different events in different places everyday so boredom wasnt a problem.

I know, I should be grateful.

Its just..... I get bored easily. Perhaps Bimo knows this, thats why he sometimes surprises me about the places our dating will take. A sudden going to Puncak, a search for BnR Peanut Butter to Bintaro, or just a walk through my childhood places. I also can deal with sneaking around to the mall with Grita whenever college bores me. Sadly, I need a bigger change.

So here I am, typing from my new cribs. Going to college and work by different routes. Have a different place to eat, and different daily schedules. It pleases me, all of this changes. I finally have something I can adapt to. I have to keep changing until my settling down amazes me enough to finally, yeah, settle down.

God knows how many times I have looked on that black scissor next to me thinking about cutting my own bangs. NO, nara. It wont be a good idea.

Oh, what the hell.


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