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Sunday, October 28, 2012

People say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing

I'm a bitch for loving to wear short skirts and sexy dress and low cut shirt and hot pants

I'm sorry for being so awesome using those outfits that men are staring at me all the time.
Men and their stupid lust.

I'm a bitch for smoking and drinking in front of the public

And they who say this are spending their parents money to shop, go to cafe, watch movies, xoxo at leats I still use my own money ;)

I'm a bitch for wearing red lipstick

I'm sorry for being too seducing by only applying lipstick ;(

I'm a bitch for saying whatever comes to my mind freely

 And you expect me to cover my thoughts and say nice cliche? I'm sorry I am not you.

I'm a bitch for teasing and insulting others

Well, is talking behind people is way much more respectable than teasing and insulting in front of the subject?

I'm a bitch for getting close with men and calling them sayang

Woohoo, I never intend to steal one, tho. My presence does threaten you, girls? Sorry ;(

I'm a bitch for using sarcasm all the time

I never mean to sound cold, bitter, or cruel, but I am. Thats how it comes out.

I'm a bitch for doing whatever I want

Jealous enough? Haters gonna hate~

I'm a bitch for writing these as a justification

Well, love me or hate me. Xoxoxoxo


X

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Narkotika dan Zat Adiktif

Judul postingannya uwaw banget ya? Hahaha yak itu adalah NAZA. Here, I'm not gonna tell you about what drugs are, what are they. what are the effects and the dangers, ini bukan blog LSM eheeeee google sendiri ah jangan males. Disini, cuma mau cerita beberapa pengalaman terkait sama NAZA ini. Phew.


It was all started at Tematis class with Mamoto. Mamoto adalah dosen super jenius tapi super nyentrik dengan sepatu yang bikin ngiri (Nike SB, Vans, auch). Beliau cerita tentang anak temennya yang mengalami Rape Date. Apa iyu rape date? Rape date adalah perkosaan yang dilakukan oleh your date. Jadi, anak temennya dikasih obat trus diperkosa dan akhirnya hamil. Dan gue pun otomatis ngomong 'temen saya juga ada yang pernah, mam....'

Here it goes.

One night at that one particular night club (sumoah ngeri bro menyebutkan namanya, ntar kena kasus lagi gue ga lucu kan :p) I was having a night out with some friends. Dari awal yaa gue udah niat 'okay mau minum banyak ga kontrol ah' karna pusing berrrrrro kombinasi habis putus+IP habis keluar :'''D and somehow I knew at that moment no matter how drunk I would be, I was still able to handle it. So yeah, one hell of a night hahaha. Dan klubnya tutup jam 4 apa yaa lupa. Emang planningnya pengen nginep aja di kosan temen 1 emang bareng pas malem itu. Tapi ternyata....... pas uda teler teler gajelas, dicolek sama teman 2 (sekali lagi, untuk menutupi identitas) dan ditanyain

'Nar, bisa nyetir manual?'

'Eh, bisa. Kenapa?'

Jengjeeeeng! Temen gue, yang namanya si... oke panggil aja Susi. Si Susi ini tepar di sofa pojok. Gabisa dibangunin, badannya dingin, bahkan ditampar-tamparin pun ga ngefek. Dia bawa mobil, dan ga mungkin kita ninggalin dia sama temen lelakinya yang daritadi sama dia. Disitu gue yang tadinya teler ngantuk langsung melek dan mikir. Fuck, dikasih apaan nih sama temen lakinye. Gue bertiga langsung ngegotong si Susi ke mobilnya. Tapi jujur aja, disitu kepala gue masih berat banget. Akhirnya SPV klubnya mutusin buat nyetirin ke Sevel dulu trus dia balik naksi. Gue harus minum bear brand dulu kalo ga gue ga bakal kuat nyetir. Yaudah akhirnya gue cuci muka di sevel dan minum bear brand. Temen 1 dan 2 gue udah makein kayu putih ke seluruh badannya Susi dan nyodok dia pake bear brand but seriously, dia masih sedingin es. Gue akhirnya menggunakan segenap kesadaran buat balik nyetir ke kosan temen 1 (hampir nabrak truk trus nyasar ke blok m dll tapi yaudeleye...) baliknya nih, kita bertiga ngegotong Susi, tapi berhubung kita ga sadar total juga jadi si Susi JATOH DONG KE ASPAL .________________. TAPI DIA TETEP AJA GA BANGUN. MYGOD =___________________= Gue tuh takutnya ya dia lewat, seriusan deh. Dan untungnya badan dia uda agak angetan. Pas balik, gue bbm temen gue dan cerita ini giniginigini dan dia cuma jawab Temen lo pasti dikasih boti nar biar bisa dipake. Bangunin deh, sodok, tar mati loh.


......



Gue cuma bisa baca bbmnya, trus gue nengok ke si Susi, dan gue cuma bisa bisikin dia 'Gue ngantuk. Lo gaboleh mati ya pas gue bangun.' dan akhirnya gue tidur. Untungnya dia bangun heheheheheheheh =_= dan dia ngomong kalo emang dia kayanya dikasih sesuatu sama temennya. Gue cuma kesel aja sama dia, dan juga temen lakinya. Gue kesel karna ngrepotin gue (jahat) maksudnya bukan repot gimana, gue degdegan mikirin dia gimana mati apa engga sakit apa engga ._. ya menurut loh kalo dia kenapakenapa gue pasti ikut kena. Bisa bisa ga dianggep anak sama Tante Alina tar -_____-


Well, alhamdulillah sekali gue gapernah tertarik sama obat maupun ganja. Biar kata ganja atau mushroom tuh dari alam/alami, tetep aja. Gue aja kesel sama temen gue yang pada ngeganja. Pasti kalo uda giting cuma haha hehe haha hehe doang. Kesel! Kaya orang tolol! Untung mereka kalo gue gamparin ga marah eheeeee :p

Gue juga pernah jaga bareng sama temen yang neken. Tangannya biru biru ngeri gitu. Trus gue juga sering cerita-cerita sama temen temen gue yang, sedihnya, kebanyakan pada ngobat. Gue seneng sih mereka ngejagain gue, maksudnya, mereka gapernah nyoba buat nyekokin gue ekstasi lah sabu lah dll. Tapi tetep aja gue rasanya pengen narik mereka trus gue cekokin air zamzam ._. dan kalo misalnya mereka mulai nawarin sesuatu yang istilahnya gue ga ngerti, biasanya gue bbm si abang nanya ini apa itu apa (please jangan nanya kenapa bimo tau semua itu hahaha) trus yaaaah gue lamalama jadi tau dan lumayan bisa ngebedain. Semakin gue tau, untungnya gue semakin jijik sama NAZA dan ganja dan mushroom. Alkohol sih ayok ayok aja, tapi kalo obat? Ogah. Seriously, gue gapernah nangkep enaknya apa. Ya sensasinya ya mungkin, tapi mereka pernah gasih nyoba main di Timezone gitu? Itu juga stress therapy loh :|

Cuma gue kadang takut deh. Kan sering nih pada ngeganja disamping gue, ngebakar gitu. Gue lumayan sering ngirup asepnya. Takut gasih kalo tau2 gue jadi positif gitu :| Hiiii. Jangan ngebaks disamping gue ya, kalian :')

Disini gue cuma pengen ngomong aja kalo NAZA dkk itu sampah dan orang yang make apalagi sampe ketagihan itu tolol. Bodo amat, pokoknya tolol! Ga mikir panjang, buang buang duit, ga sayang sama lingkungan, dan resikonya kalo ketangkep bisa bikin malu keluarga. Terserah sih sebenernya, hak masing-masing. Kasian aja nyokap bokap lo sama anak cucu (kalo lo belom OD duluan ya). Mau ngebakar duit? Daripada ngeganja mending main kembang api. Hehe. Lagian serius deh.

Mereka yang ngomong kenapa ganja itu ilegal tapi alkohol engga itu sama aja begonya. Hhhhhhh.



X

Friday, October 26, 2012

This morning I woke up to dozen of your kiss and countless whisper saying 'kangen'. I think I can have this dozage of you every morning.


Well, you got me, Bim. :-)


Xx

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Now is all I know
Now is all I got
And I don't know if there will be tomorrow for us.

Now is all I care about
Now that you are here
Now that you're the contents of my heart.

Now you're all I know
Now is all I promise
And I don't know if there will be a future for us.

Now is all I live for
Now that you are near
And it was best that from the start it was clear.

Loving is not owning
We can let it go
We can let it go.
Loving is not owning
You can let me go
You can let me go.

There's a reason why we love each other now
And we don't know if this is forever.
There's a reason why we are together now
And we don't care if it's not forever now.

Now is all I think about
Now that I am happy
And I'm not sure if there will be a future for us.

Now is all I offer
It's everything I got
And I still wish that there will be a tomorrow for us.

X

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Ekspektasi

Expectations kill.

Well, harapan, atau ekspektasi, itu hal yang ga akan bisa lepas dari circle of life kita. Aku punya banyak harapan yang ngga kesampaian. But then in time, I learn. I learn that expectations dont kill, the way we react toward it does. Dulu aku pengen banget masuk Komunikasi UI. Pengeeeeen banget. I even wrote down 'Komunikasi UI 2010' on Friendster's Who I Want to Meet section. Tapi ternyata, aku masuk Sastra Inggris. Kecewa? Iyalah. Drop? Em... Jujur aja, waktu itu ga sempet ngerasain dropnya. Apalagi ngliat temen-temen lain yang way smarter than me didnt make it, I was a bit shocked. Then I knew I have to be grateful for what I got.

Banyak harapan yang dilandasi sama rasa iri. Aku selalu iri sama orang yang bisa nyanyi. Aku pengen bisa nyanyi. Pengeeeen banget. Tapi aku gamau maksain buat les vokal dsb karna aku sadar, suara bagus itu bakat natural. Aku? Nafas aja fals :") Aku pengen jadi kaya ini, aku pengen jadi kaya itu, then we try everything we can to imitate. Ini juga mungkin yang melandasi gampangnya sebuah tren masuk; rasa bersaing yang kenceng. Kapan abisnya? Mungkin pas bokek. :D

To be honest, sekarang aku ada di titik 'yaudahlah' di hidup. I mean, I got tired of wishing and expecting. I decided to accept things the way they are. Dulu, banyak saat dimana rasanya Tuhan bener bener becanda sama hidup, but then I decided to go with the flow. Sayang sama cowok yang ternyata memuakkan? Yaudahlah let go. Kerjaan tau2 dicancel? Yaudahlah tar juga dateng rejeki lagi. Bokap bikin ulah lagi? Yaudahlah emang tabiat. Sahabat rese banget? Yaudahlah emang anaknya begitu. And know how I see life now? Neutral :)

Being angry and disappointed about life are exhausting loh. God has given us everything and it is all planned kok. I mean, what you give is what you get. Nikmatin aja hidup, semua orang pada dasarnya sama sih. My life now seems so much better when I let og of those silly expectations. Disappointing life? Ga juga ;) I am more to seeing it as aims to be reached. I want something, so I will work my ass off for it. Also, I depend on nobody but me. If somebody else is able to help, I consider that as a bonus.

Harapan itu jangan dilihat dari rasa sakitnya kalo gagal, tapi dari encouragementnya. Ga ada usaha yang percuma kok. Walau akhirnya ga dapet, yaaa yaudahlah pasti ada ganti yg lebih bagus :D

Yaudahlah and Eventually are two of my fav words all the time :-)




X

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Alhamdulillah

I just want to take a deep breath and thank God for everything I have for now. In recent.


So, I am now having a proper job in a cool office called Mirah Sakethi and deal with big companies like Freeport and Pertamina and some politic parties. I am able to pay everything in my life; and I will be paying my own tuition for next period, amen :-)

I also have bestfriends that stand beside me no matter what. We are now finally reaching the moment when it feels okay to have a fight because we believe; everything will be just okay eventually. Yeah, I'm in love with all of my besties from ES till college :-)

I also have my super boyfriend who is super annoying yet super lovable :-* Right now, I am trying to have this dont-break-up-learn-to-have-fights relationship. It is so nice to have someone who is willing to do everything just to see you smile, no? I love the way he loves me. I really do. I love you Bimi :-*

College? Yea since I am not doing those kind of jobs anymore (usher, model, spg etc) so I am now having my full concern and weekday time for college. 5th period is hard, but then so what? I am still able to handle this period *positive suggest* ehehehe let's just hope for the best, no? :-)

Mess around? Of course I still have the time! Ahahaha spend some nights just chatting with friends somewhere or going to parties or even playing at Timezone, I still have the time. Wml ;-)

Thank God. Thanks for everything You give me. I love You.

I really do.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.


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