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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Gendut. Bantet. Halo?

Fix banget waktu ngetik ini lagi dengerin MCR. The End, lagu pertama di Black Parade. 
Well come on come on to this tragic affair~

Pada suatu sore hari yang indah di tahun 2007 (cieh) dua anak kiyut nan lucu bernama Nara dan Ninda sedang berjalan bersama di Galeria yang kebetulan bertemu dengan teman satu SMP yang bisa disebut Rani. Rani lagi jalan sama cowok gendut yang namanya… oke waktu itu kita berdua ga ada yg tau nama dia siapa. Kita bahkan baru tau dia anak smp 5 :p well kenalan, katanya namanya Maman. Itu aja dikenalin Rani. Dia ga ngomong apa-apa kayaknya. Dan kita juga ga perduli sih uhuk siapah diah :p
Then, di tahun yang sama, aku terdampar di sebuah sekolah yang bisa disebut Teladan. Dan tepatnya, di kelas sepuluh internasional dua. Keren ya kayaknya? emang keren kok. Waktu masuk kelas, mengedarkan pandang, nemu beberapa muka yang kenal-able. Salah satunya adalah si Maman ini. And I was like OOOH SI CUPU ITU! hahaha :p Eh ternyata kita minatnya sama, Teater Nila Pangkaja. Gatau sih dia emang minat apa karna Rani minat :p tapi yaaa akhirnya kita berempat sering ke studio bareng dan jadi deket (Nara, Thyta, Iza, dan Maman) dan karna Rani deket sama guweh jadi ya otomatis sering main bareng dan cerita-cerita bareng. I guess that was our first sharing. Maman’s feeling towards Rani. Well, I watched him cried. Suatu sore yang berangin di lapvol, dan cuma kita berdua. Atau sama iza? I lost track! Disitu aku sempet jadi penengah antara mereka berdua, tapi ujung-ujungnya jadi lebih deket ke maman. Yaiyalah sekelas. Dan masa-masa itu, adalah masa-masa dimana kita pulsekteng ke studio trus leyeh-leyeh. Si Maman tidur kayak sapi gelonggongan di studio (biasanya sama oknum B a.k.a Bunga) dan Nara Iza Thyta berjemur di lapbas alias larut. Then we walked home together.

Berlanjutlah kepada kebiasaan nonton pensi bareng. Dini juga sering ikut deh kayaknya. Pensi, pocinan, hahaha good times. Waktu ituuu kita jadi anak film sih dibawah naungan kakak Maherdhita wkwk jadi ya sering nongkrong bareng diluar NP dan kelas (oh iya, NP beda sama film :p)
SAMPAI SI MAMAN JADIAN SAMA MBAK AAR DAN BOONG SAMA AKU UNTUK PERTAMA KALINYA DALAM SEJARAH.
Kesel gak sihhhhhhhhhhhhh waktu acara ulang tahun lo hari minggu sahabat lo ngomongnya gabisa dating tapi ternyata malah ketemu? Rasanya kaya….. MAMPUS duarrrrrrr! Hahahah trus ada yg nelfon nelfon minta maaf sambil mewek gitudeh :p yaudah nyerah deh dimaapin. Kaget yah diboongin sahabat? Ckck.
Beranjak ke kelas dua. Nisqul pulang, dan menjadi dekat sama si Maman. Sempet ada masalah (bukan sama aku, percaya ga? Ketauan boong ya? Yah. Yaudah deh ngaku *gampangan*) tapi I trust him more than I doubt him. dan kayaknya dia juga deh, maaf ya nisquuuul tapi kamu aja juga ngaku kamu salah kan (yaudah sih nar?) ehehehe maaf ya:”>
Whats next? Mmh kejutan ulang tahun? Maman didiemin sama Nara seminggu dan akhirnya nangis di depan PH bilang “aku gamau kehilangan sahabat kaya kamu..” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IT STILL FEELS SO FREAKING FUNNY :”D nevertheless, I loved you at that time. Hfft
Apa lagi sih? Aduh kebanyakan deh ndut aku pusing ngetiknya. Basing bareng, ngeband, PTB, Pangandaran, ke Bandung bareeeeng ulalaaa~
males ngumbar aib sih sebenernya heheheh 
habis sedih sih. 

Iya. Sedih. 

Those times were good times for me, knowing I have someone I can count on. Iya. Kamu selalu bisa diandalkan ndut. Ga kayak koke. Kamu, dan Iza, adalah dua cowok yang paling bisa diandalkan setiap saap setiap waktu. Tapi lebih kerasa kamu sih ndut. Karna.. yaaaa emang kita lebih sering bareng. Kesel sih rasanya kamu ampe nyindir aku waktu aku nanya di fb (if you and I were stranded on an island, what do you think I will bring) dan kamu dengan brengseknya jawab (helm, karna kamu pasti bakal minta nebeng sampe concat :]) hahahah taik ndut sampah -_- tapi aku seneng kamu ga pernah protes dengan istilah nebeng karna dayuuuummmmn itu bukan nebeng brooo itu ngojek gratisan eheheheheheheh ._. but I know no matter what, you will always be there for me.

Tapi. Itu dulu.

Dulu, setiap aku ke Jogja, pasti kamu nyempetin main sama aku. Setiap aku mau balik Jakarta, kamu pasti nganter aku. Setiap aku nelfon, pasti kamu respon. Setiap aku nangis kamu pasti ngedengerin. Setiap aku pengen ngobrol pasti kamu ladenin.
Dan sekarang, setelah kamu punya pacar, poof!
Ga nyalahin kamu sih. Pacarmu juga stress. Tiap kali kamu cerita soal dia pasti cerita gimana kamu muak dan pengen putus. But then, kapan sih aku pernah nyaranin kamu buat putus aja sama dia. Inget gak siapa yang pertama kali manggil sayang? Kamu kan? Inget gak itu siapa yang ngetik smsnya? Aku ndut. Aku seneng (pertamanya) kamu naksir icha. She, seemed like a good girl. I was so happy for you :D tapi kenapa icha gasuka sama aku ya? Kenapa dia nganggep aku nggatel? Aku ga ngerti, kita udah temenan tiga tahun pas kalian pertama jadian, aku jauh di UI, aku punya pacar (pas itu), kita ga kontakan intens, jarang banget malah, aku jarang banget balik Jogja, tapi kenapa ya masih aja dipermasalahin?
Aku gabakal ndut jatuh cinta sama kamu. You know me, you know us.. Padahal kamu bilang dia juga punya temen kaya kamu ke aku, tapi kamu aja juga ga ngerti sama dia, and how do you expect me to understand?
Dan mulailah kita sahabatan backstreet. Telfonan pas kamu lagi pura2 ketiduran atau kamu emang udah pamit tidur. Main tanpa bilang dia. Main bedua tapi bilangnya se RT. But theeeeeen you distanced yourself. You became unreachable. Padahal aku bener bener lagi butuh sahabat pas itu. aku lagi putus sama koke, dan asdfghjkl banget rasanya. 

Where were you?

I lost you.

I lost you.

I lost you.

Kemarin thyta sms kamu nanyain mau ketemu gak nara lg di jogja, dan kamu gabales. Kita kirain kamu sibuk kuliah. Okay. Tapi kita ketemu pas kamu sama cewekmu lagi jalan di amplas dengan selonya. Aku benci banget sama kamu ndut. Aku jijik, bisa-bisanya ada yang ngetook bestf for granted. Yeah, those friendship years clearly meant nothing for you, eh? Ngerti kok udah sibuk, udah punya pacar yang galak kaya macan yang daridulu pengen diputusin tapi gapernah tega tapi pas sekalinya baik2 langsung diturutin mulu, udah punya dunia sendiri, well ngerti kok.

Aw lagunya skrg Disenchanted! Kamu dulu ngajarin aku petikannya loh aw.

Seriusan. Aku ngerti. Consider this as a farewell words of mine, then. Aku gaperduli kalo aku frontal kaya setan disini, tapi aku ga tahan lagi. Kehilangan sahabat itu lebih taik daripada kehilangan pacar  uwow sakit sekali rasanya, tapi yaaaaaaaa gimana lagi. Sepihak doang lagian sakitnya, yagak ndut? You don’t care. You wont.
Yaudah deh aku ngalah, I’m walking away. Sadly shouting I lost one of my best men. Gapapaaa. I still have them, dan aku masih perawan (yoi) hehehe
Makasih yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sudah pernah menjadi sahabat yang paling baik.
Jaga diri ya ndut. Its been a great journey for me, so sad you end it. 
Well, take care. I love you :-)

Well when you go, don’t ever think I’ll make you turn to stay. And maybe when you get back, I’ll be off to find another way~

p.s : self note, do not ever trade your bestf for lover, because you have no fuckin idea what it feels like.

X

Friday, June 22, 2012

Love in a hopeless place

cathy - mel - mita - me - michael

That was one hell of a night :D

Xx

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Dont be so hard on yourself, Medina Rachma Lea.

Just, breathe.

P.S : gausah mewek dapet C+ di sosling, tuh KI sama Krisas dapet A.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Gatau ah

Gatau. Gamau tau. Berusaha keras ga peduli. Ga peduli. Gamau peduli. Berusaha keras buat ga peduli.

Capek.

Gabisa. Udah gabisa lagi.

Limit.

Limit aja ga ada yg tak terhingga. Adanya limit mendekati tak terhingga. Logika sendiri deh ya. Meledak! Tau meledak? BUMMM DUARRRRRRR

Its just, too much, I tried my best to cope up but it didnt work out like it used to be.

Capek.



Bye.

Beterin Beteri Vardir

Every bad has its worse.

Sefin ngetwit itu barusan. Ah. Bagus.

Yang bagus itu yg nusuk.

Tau diri dong lo nar. Dapet nilai B aja udah nangis. Lebay anjing. Liat tuh yang ga lulus! Liat tuh yg keterima UI aja enggak! Liat tuh yg gabisa kuliah! Ngaca dong, lo belajar emang? Hah? Absen berapa? Kalo gapake surat sakit emg masih bisa lo ujian? Bersyukur kali nar. Masih 3 itu B. IPK lo jg masih diatas 3.


B e r s y u k u r .


Kerjaan lo cancel? Liat tuh yg pengangguran! Yg gajinya sebulan cm 300! Lo bisa dengan gampang cari kerjaan lain kan? Liat tuh pengemis! Jangan drop karena satu kerjaan cancel dong. Cemen!

B e r s y u k u r .

Ngerasa miskin? Keterlaluan lo nar. Lo ngetik pake apa skrg? Iphone! Bb sama macbook lo di depan mata! Uang sisa di atm lo bisa ngontrak 6bulan di jogja! Lo stress? Liat tuh yg tidur di jalan pake kardus doang!

Liat mah kebawah juga nar, jangan cuma keatas doang. Every bad has its worse. Jangan lenjeh.



X

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I hope you know I hope you know

The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown
Fairy tales dont always have their happy ending do they?
And I foresse the dark ahead if I stay
~
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I have got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girls now,
And big girls dont cry

:)


X

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

:-(

Everyone have their moment, they said. 
I guess I am just too tired with stuffs. My life has been so much of ups and downs, and I got tired of all the circles. I know I should be thankful because of the things God gives me, yet I am tired of losing. I know, some people have a boring life, monotone, they dont have any dramatical leap in their stories. Some people live only at their own zones. I know I should be thankful, but I am really really tired of losing. Although I keep gaining better things, but man, losing sickens me. My stomach feels funny, and my eyes are teary. I am sitting in my balcony, feeling safe and sound at my own home, and really, I have no intention to go to Jakarta again. Maybe this is my time. I know living in Jakarta is so fun and I have plenty of good things there and Jakarta is my big city dream and it suits me and it is what I want from the very first start, but right now I just want to stay at my home doing nothing else but talking to my mom and my brother and my family and going out with my dad and having a good time with all of my bestfriends. I know I gain more there, but sometimes its the familiarity that kills. I want to sleep and wake up as a senior high school student who is happy and has nothing to fear. I want to sleep and wake up at my first months with him. I want to sleep and wake up in the middle of the night because I have a bad dream and sleep at my mom's room till shubuh. I want to sleep and wake up with all of the things that once were mine. 
I miss you so much it hurts, it sickens, it drives me mad
I want to sleep away my current life for a moment just to take a breath. 

I'll be fine eventually as always but now, how I wish I were someone else facing something else in somewhere else.

I know I should be thankful. I know.

But, God......
:(

I really, really want to sleep again, and never wake up. Bye.


X
So I must have had so many wounds in my head then.






X

Monday, June 11, 2012

Climax

Kenapa banyak sekali yang membuka Februari 2011 di blog guwehhhh?


Okay it got me scrolling over Februari 2011. 


Wow. I was so in love back then. aint I?


Hehe good times. Kita baru jadian 6  bulan, and I gotta tell you, our first year was mesmerizing :-) I dont know how the hell did we get here, and I was done asking why. 



Going nowhere fast

We've reached the climax
We're together, now we're undone
Won't commit so we choose to run away, do we separate?




I was so young, naive, and in love. I gave you everything but it wasnt enough.
We were  perfect, they said. Perfect could not keep this love alive, then :-)



Don't wanna give in so we both gave up

Can't take it back
It's too late we've reached the climax, climax



It itched me a bit how I wrote those love lines back then.
No matter what. It still got me smiling a bit when I read all over again, how about you?



I've fallen somehow, feet off the ground

Love is the cloud, that keeps me raining down
Where are you now? When I need you around

I'm on my knees but it seems we're over



We grew apart, didnt we?


Funny how those dreams turned into dust who got carried away somewhere far by the wind of change.



I gave my best, it wasn't enough

You came and said we argue too much
We made our mess, what used to be lust
Why do I care, I care at all, at all, at all, at all



This doesnt mean anything kok, I dont want to interrupt your new love life with your new girl. I'm not clinging kok, I gave up on us sucha long long long time ago :-)




It probably sounds cliche, but I miss those times. You probably answer this with 'I didnt change, I just stopped trying to please you blablabla' yeah I dont really care about the current you, I only miss the old you, who used to be my best man ever, whom I loved so much. You can call it 'the havent-grown-yet-you' if you say we grew apart :p 


I was so lucky to have that person in my life. Thank God he is dead or gone or somewhat, because I didnt see him in the current you. That cute sweet lovable boy that I used to know IS only for me, not for another girls. This isnt stuck, this is taking good time with grace. 


I'm just cherishing what thing that will always be my prerogative kok :p



You say, it's better if we love each other separately

I just need you one more time
I can't get the one we had on my mind
Where are you now? When I need you around

I'm on my knees but it seems we're over








X

Unwell

Hold on, feeling like I've headed for a breakdown, and I dont know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell, I know, right now you can tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired, I know, right now you dont care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be, me.

...


What youre doing right now to me is like pouring salts into my cuts.
I dont know how to make things better. Maybe you can just go away. Maybe you can just die. I dont really care. I have no intention of doing anything further about this. I'm sorry, yeah I should not have done that in the first place. I have told you from the very first start if loving me will not be easy. I'm sorry if you love me, but I'm not sorry if you find it hard.


I know you are waaay more than him, but he is a mistake. Perhaps at what I were back then, he's quite okay. But really, dont look at him, dont look at his life right now, he's got nothing to do with us. Hey, look at me. Cope up with me, with my society, with my expense&income, with my thoughts, with my job, with my life, if you can.

I do not intend to have you changed,
but I'm not settling for less.




X

Saturday, June 9, 2012

I didnt really pay attention to myself until the thought of who I used to be attacked me.
Well....
I guess its better not to pay attention then. It feels better when not a single fuck was given. As always.

I would never try to be something I dislike; a warm person, for example.


X

Random Day

Started from lovely morning, new blackberry, lost in streets around alun-alun, laughed till cried, cried till laughed, cute photos, drifted around the city in the midnight, canceled my SP, and still cannot sleep.

Sure, hell of a day!
Hello holiday, what do you have for me? ;)


X

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Finally

Smell of freedom!

4TH PERIOD HAS JUST FINISHED!!!

ITS BEEN COLD HELL OF FINALS!

The worst pile of tasks--ever!
Yetttttt I had fun. Thanks lads, gonna see you again on next period right?

I can really use some rest anyway. :"

P.s : Supernatural season 7 ending sucks. I really cant wait for its next season ._. Soooo, HIMYM, GG, Supernatural, BigBangTheory, I am waiting :"
Call me nerd, whatever


X

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

'Everybody loses everybody. And one day, boom! Your number is up, but at least, you are making a difference. Enjoy it while it lasts, kid, cause hunting is the only clarity you will find in this life. That makes you the luckiest.'


X

Monday, June 4, 2012

Dont Cry

Why God gives you freedom? Because freedom is like a rope, and God wants you to hang yourself with it.


Nowplaying GnR - Dont Cry

And dont you cry tonight, there is a heaven above you baby :)

X

Korban Perasaan

Just found this at Discourse Analysis' class and lol-ing like a boss :" anyway paper dis-an's done! Double boss :"

Anyway. Yesterday somebody told me that she would buy supernatural season 7 after finals. Look how cute she is. She have just bought the dvds! Yeah, just nowwwww. She still has several finals and look what is on her mind :)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

:>

So I was out of ammos and I decided to watch Supernatural again, and I realised I have forgotten how much I love that one song.

'Carry on my wayward son,
There will be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest.
Dont you cry no more.'

As much as I love Dean Winchester<3 Since junior highhh for God's sake<3

Then some told me that Dean is just like me. Avoid talking about feelings, altruistic yet selfish, total jerk, cleaning up his dad's mess, yet willing to do anything for the loved ones, they said.

:")

Fuck off. No matter what, I'm Michael's :" proudly Michael's :"



Supernatural season 7 is next on my list. Patient honey, habis finals kelar ya :")



X

Saturday, June 2, 2012

:)

That two sentences just made my noon. Sometimes, you dont know how lucky you are until someone tells you. You dont know how strong you are until one says want to be like you. You dont know how good you have been until someone reminds you about that. And, thank you. Thanks for reminding me about all of that. I mean it. Thanks. :)

X

I'm gonna be that pretty chick who is smart and has a great job and wears no less than Zara and eats sushi for snack. This photo explains all.

Friday, June 1, 2012

That awkward moment when you realize that one of your best men isnt yours anymore. I cant stand losing another best man anymore. Jangan lupain sahabat ya, apapun yang terjadi. Hiks
Best feeling in the world: megang paper sosling yang baru dijilid dan siap dikasih ke miss Cia :") well yang paling berat sudah lewat! Whats next? Okay lets see. Paper KI, paper Discourse Analysis, ppt Speaking, essay writing. Final writing, final listening. LOH KOK MASIH BANYAK? KALO GA SALAH SENEN MINGDEP UDAH SP NAR? :"""""""
X

Hi June

I don't care, I don't care
If I'm again carried away
If you swear, if you swear
To give me your heart in return
To give me your heart in return~



I dont feel like changing, I am refusing unconsciously.
This is just another title coming.

X