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Sunday, December 23, 2012

Luwuk, 2nd day.

I finally am here, Luwuk. After two hours flight to Makassar (whoa the airport looks like Changi!) And 1h40m flight with small private plane to Luwuk and one hour drive from the city to the project district I am finally here, the CSR of PT Donggi Senoro LNG. There are three districts that my company has to deal with from this company, and another one from Pertamina.

What am I doing here?

I spent it mostly with.... Sleeping :| Bimo had me awake most of the night at Friday (but I don't mind tho :p) and I slept the entire two flights and I slept at the car and I slept right after I got here and I slept again after I took the morning bath WELL I LITERALLY SLEEP ALL THE TIME AND I HAVE JUST WOKE UP right now and I am sitting at the living room so that I'm not falling to bed again but somehow I AM STILL SLEEPY AS FUCK :') hell yeah I have been blinking nonstop in typing this.

It actually feels like bakti in PTB; we have to increase this area's way of living. Yeah our client wants the people to be having a better life and they are hiring us to do the job. My boss asked me to stand in for a week because the field worker has to take a break (yeah, I'm an office bitch) so yeah, I will teach them how to speak English, how to read, how physic works, ahow to bake cookies, and how to knit. Well, no, the last two sounds wrong if you picture me :" but I don't know when will I teach them, my coord hasn't speak to me (yeah because you fell asleep all the time, Nara)

The connection sucks, my iPhone's dead because there is no XL tower here and I didn't have the time to buy M3's or Simpati's micro chip so I left my iPhone at Jakarta, which turned out to be a mistake because the beaches are so asdfghjkly awesome! :''''] its okay, Onyx's camera is not bad *self cheering*

Well, since the connection sucks, I finally (am being forced to) have a time for myself. An hour ago, my signal was SOS and I chose to read at the stage where the children usually come to learn. I feel peace :) something I clearly get from 3-millions ticket to here.

Also, as long as I can remember, I never had the chance of getting in touch with people from mid-Sulawesi. Here, the races are the ones who are strangers to me. Interesting. And creepy at the same time.

Fyi, I am still so sleepy. Hiks. And its freaking hell out there. Please, no sunburn this time please.

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Sunday, December 16, 2012


I was just finished my Maquis' Caramel Pudding when Bimo picked me up at PI. We went to Playground for drinks then after some circlings, we finally decided to eat at Senayan. Yeah, my fav Nasgor in Jakarta. Well, when I was taking a cab, it turned left from PI to reach Senayan. I told Bimo to turn left, too. I did not know how, but I guess he was taking some wrong turns after. I finally found the car were heading towards West Jakarta.

I yelled happily. I then asked Bimo to circle over those familiar places from Kota Bambu. Rawa Kepa, and finally, Gelong Baru Selatan. Also, Mandala raya :-) Places when I grew up. We even saw my old school and house.

The rain was pouring down outside along the way I was reminiscing my childhood memories back.

I was just putting my watergun he gave me that day when we got out from Tomang and finally headed towards Senayan. He grabbed my hand, put it on his neck, and kissed me. I then buried my face in his neck and hugged him. Smelling his perfume, feeling his warmth, and closing my eyes.

I may still have tons of paperloads to work, essays and papers to finish, exams to go.
This futureless relationship may crumble into pieces.

But at that particular moment, I somehow knew that this is a right thing to do.


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Highlight this

A friend of mine asked me the question I have been asking myself these days; Do this one look different than my previous one? Yeah, I mean, I showered my previous relationship with Public Display Affection, and it is a bit different from now, what I have with Bimo. I realize it, tho, but that doesnt mean I dont love Bimo with everything I have ;)

It is just, time flies. I am not that 1st year college student who only knows how to have fun and spend money whenever I like. I am also not that teenager with explosive attitude related with feelings. I was that girl who loved to create chaos, speak whatever I like, oh dear I was such an ignorant.

I am, tho. I dont change, people dont do change. I adapt. I grow up. I am still a bitch, but perhaps in a classy way *sigh* lol I also do not have that much of free time like I used to have. My world, now, doesnt only revolve in a lovey dovey romance. I have work, I have issues, I have plenty of task, I need to rest.

Relating this to my lovelife, its not that I dont have feelings toward him to be written here there everywhere, I am posting it still but perhaps in a smaller amount. That doesnt mean I love Bimo less ;)

Sometimes you know you are so comfortably in love you dont need to tell the whole world about it.

Thats just exactly how I feel.

Bimo himself is not the one who involves much in social network (I thank God for this, really). He has his work, and he loves to do offroad or motorcross more than checking timeline and blab :p I dont expect him to tweet me goodnight or goodmorning but on the other hand I dont have to be afraid of seeing him being friendly/flirty with another girls in socnet HAHAHA HIGHLIGHT THAT(!) Another thing is he will talk to me directly if he dislikes about something, not being cocky and tweet about that. I love that.

Although he is a stalker. Or it is just me, who publishes my life for people to see :')


Saturday, November 17, 2012

My only sunshine

How do you spend this long weekend? Mine is going to Cisolok, Pelabuhan Ratu, with my boyfieh :-D I kept grumbling how I wanted a holiday and beaches and an escape with him while I didnt have the time but yesterday. So he picked me up at Wed, and we went there at 6 p.m. It was a long trip, 5-6 hours. We spent 3 days there (well, two bcs it was midnight when we got there -_-) but theeeen it was fun! So sad I have to work at the weekend

I love the beaches, I love the skies, I love the sand, and I love him :-)

Anyway, Bimo had been bullying Kimut from God knows when -___- He even threw Kimut away to the back seat of his car. It was so funny to watch him got jealous over a fluffy teddy, but it was also annoying how he tortured my daughty back and forth -____________________- 


Second day. View from his car.



Last day

Morning view mwiwiwi

I kept telling him how it doesnt match his tattoes, seeing him playing with the sands -_-

Last beach while we had our lunch. iPhone was drown here -__-

Momma's Naya loveliest daughty who Bimo had been torturing. He threw Kimut back to the back seat right after I took this picture. It was still acceptable because at first, he wanted to throw Kimut out of his window -___- villain

----You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you 
Please don't take my sunshine away----


Saturday, November 3, 2012

My first break-up

This post is on my gmail's draft. Yeah usually I choose to post through email from my phone. I wonder why I never send this one. Perhaps because it is an.. yeah, an honest and frontal one, but I think I am that brutally-spilling-truths-like-nobody-is-listening person so I decided to post this one. :-)
I also want to give credit to Bella who has this post that encourages me to post about my ex :-p

Here it goes----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The life lesson I most wish I had learned early in life is: If your partner dumps you, that is absolute proof they were not the one no matter how attached you feel, no matter how much you believe you could never love another, no matter how great it used to be, no matter if the heartbreak is the worst pain you ever felt. 

Taken from http://mindprod.com/deepthoughts/wise.html

Yeah. No matter what.

I am opening my notes on my iPhone and I have just found that paragraph that I copied times ago. Well, I feel... Related to it. I mean, I know how it feels.

"...no matter how attached you feel, no matter how much you believe you could never love another, no matter how great it used to be, no matter if the heartbreak is the worst pain you ever felt."

I used to feel that after I broke up with Rizky. I have to admit, first break up is tough.

The hottest love has the coldest end.

No, we're not friends anymore. We tried to be friends, but it turned out to be a repeated mistake. Our current condition as strangers is the best for both of us.

Its not that I still think about him; I just want to write this down. He knows how I love to write, so he wont be thinking I'd still think about him. I hope you readers can do the same, stop creating rumors. We both are already taken happily with our new loved ones, too. This is an early warning bcs this post may contain some serious issues related to my past relationship hahaha sok artis lu nar kaya blog ada yg baca aeee.

Well. Where do I begin?

First break up hurt like hell. I was so screwed at the moment I couldnt think straight. No, actually, the hardest part was the giving up. So, one step before breaking up. It was effin hard to just let go of what once was a good thing and give up. That was the most hurtful phase for me. Torn between holding on or letting go. I was having a hard time on giving up because I had, eh have, eh had ;p this pride that I prioritize among anything else. The thought of being replaced kills, no? I loved him too much at the moment and I also hated the feeling of losing that he made me feel. Really, I was such in a big dilemma.

Everyday was a guess; which version of you I might get on the phone today? Yea you know the ups and down of lingering. One day he talked sweet, and the other day he yelled at me. I kept praying for him to get sane and being back to the old us, but I somehow knew that it will end soon. I started to lose hope and unconsciously prepare myself for a real break up, but yeah. I had to get through this phase alive. I could not sleep at night. I called my friends or cried myself to sleep. I lost my mood to do anything. I lost my appetite.

You cannot die from a broken heart, you only wish you did.

That's just how screwed  I was before I decided to let him go.

But then, I let go.
I am loving myself.

There was I, then. Stumbling all alone at Depok. I felt quite okay after the break-up but I once thought I wont be able to love again, but then I was wrong. Perhaps I was blinded by the pain that he gave. I was blinded because I have never experienced a broken heart before.  I thought I wont be able to open my heart again. I wont be able to let my wall crumbles down.

I gotta tell you, I was wrong.

The pain is temporary, only the lesson that is permanent. I mean, when you are already in a new relationship, the trauma of your last relationship will be preventing you to screw up. At least, it happens to me. My relationship with Rizky was tiring. It drained ourselves, both of us.  It gave me what to and not to do, if you know what I mean.

For me, having a break up is only creating more specification for what men you wont get along with.

Let me say rephrase it; I thank him for the lessons :-)
I really do.

Dont let bad ending defines what once was a big happiness. No? :-)


Sunday, October 28, 2012

People say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing

I'm a bitch for loving to wear short skirts and sexy dress and low cut shirt and hot pants

I'm sorry for being so awesome using those outfits that men are staring at me all the time.
Men and their stupid lust.

I'm a bitch for smoking and drinking in front of the public

And they who say this are spending their parents money to shop, go to cafe, watch movies, xoxo at leats I still use my own money ;)

I'm a bitch for wearing red lipstick

I'm sorry for being too seducing by only applying lipstick ;(

I'm a bitch for saying whatever comes to my mind freely

 And you expect me to cover my thoughts and say nice cliche? I'm sorry I am not you.

I'm a bitch for teasing and insulting others

Well, is talking behind people is way much more respectable than teasing and insulting in front of the subject?

I'm a bitch for getting close with men and calling them sayang

Woohoo, I never intend to steal one, tho. My presence does threaten you, girls? Sorry ;(

I'm a bitch for using sarcasm all the time

I never mean to sound cold, bitter, or cruel, but I am. Thats how it comes out.

I'm a bitch for doing whatever I want

Jealous enough? Haters gonna hate~

I'm a bitch for writing these as a justification

Well, love me or hate me. Xoxoxoxo


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Narkotika dan Zat Adiktif

Judul postingannya uwaw banget ya? Hahaha yak itu adalah NAZA. Here, I'm not gonna tell you about what drugs are, what are they. what are the effects and the dangers, ini bukan blog LSM eheeeee google sendiri ah jangan males. Disini, cuma mau cerita beberapa pengalaman terkait sama NAZA ini. Phew.

It was all started at Tematis class with Mamoto. Mamoto adalah dosen super jenius tapi super nyentrik dengan sepatu yang bikin ngiri (Nike SB, Vans, auch). Beliau cerita tentang anak temennya yang mengalami Rape Date. Apa iyu rape date? Rape date adalah perkosaan yang dilakukan oleh your date. Jadi, anak temennya dikasih obat trus diperkosa dan akhirnya hamil. Dan gue pun otomatis ngomong 'temen saya juga ada yang pernah, mam....'

Here it goes.

One night at that one particular night club (sumoah ngeri bro menyebutkan namanya, ntar kena kasus lagi gue ga lucu kan :p) I was having a night out with some friends. Dari awal yaa gue udah niat 'okay mau minum banyak ga kontrol ah' karna pusing berrrrrro kombinasi habis putus+IP habis keluar :'''D and somehow I knew at that moment no matter how drunk I would be, I was still able to handle it. So yeah, one hell of a night hahaha. Dan klubnya tutup jam 4 apa yaa lupa. Emang planningnya pengen nginep aja di kosan temen 1 emang bareng pas malem itu. Tapi ternyata....... pas uda teler teler gajelas, dicolek sama teman 2 (sekali lagi, untuk menutupi identitas) dan ditanyain

'Nar, bisa nyetir manual?'

'Eh, bisa. Kenapa?'

Jengjeeeeng! Temen gue, yang namanya si... oke panggil aja Susi. Si Susi ini tepar di sofa pojok. Gabisa dibangunin, badannya dingin, bahkan ditampar-tamparin pun ga ngefek. Dia bawa mobil, dan ga mungkin kita ninggalin dia sama temen lelakinya yang daritadi sama dia. Disitu gue yang tadinya teler ngantuk langsung melek dan mikir. Fuck, dikasih apaan nih sama temen lakinye. Gue bertiga langsung ngegotong si Susi ke mobilnya. Tapi jujur aja, disitu kepala gue masih berat banget. Akhirnya SPV klubnya mutusin buat nyetirin ke Sevel dulu trus dia balik naksi. Gue harus minum bear brand dulu kalo ga gue ga bakal kuat nyetir. Yaudah akhirnya gue cuci muka di sevel dan minum bear brand. Temen 1 dan 2 gue udah makein kayu putih ke seluruh badannya Susi dan nyodok dia pake bear brand but seriously, dia masih sedingin es. Gue akhirnya menggunakan segenap kesadaran buat balik nyetir ke kosan temen 1 (hampir nabrak truk trus nyasar ke blok m dll tapi yaudeleye...) baliknya nih, kita bertiga ngegotong Susi, tapi berhubung kita ga sadar total juga jadi si Susi JATOH DONG KE ASPAL .________________. TAPI DIA TETEP AJA GA BANGUN. MYGOD =___________________= Gue tuh takutnya ya dia lewat, seriusan deh. Dan untungnya badan dia uda agak angetan. Pas balik, gue bbm temen gue dan cerita ini giniginigini dan dia cuma jawab Temen lo pasti dikasih boti nar biar bisa dipake. Bangunin deh, sodok, tar mati loh.


Gue cuma bisa baca bbmnya, trus gue nengok ke si Susi, dan gue cuma bisa bisikin dia 'Gue ngantuk. Lo gaboleh mati ya pas gue bangun.' dan akhirnya gue tidur. Untungnya dia bangun heheheheheheheh =_= dan dia ngomong kalo emang dia kayanya dikasih sesuatu sama temennya. Gue cuma kesel aja sama dia, dan juga temen lakinya. Gue kesel karna ngrepotin gue (jahat) maksudnya bukan repot gimana, gue degdegan mikirin dia gimana mati apa engga sakit apa engga ._. ya menurut loh kalo dia kenapakenapa gue pasti ikut kena. Bisa bisa ga dianggep anak sama Tante Alina tar -_____-

Well, alhamdulillah sekali gue gapernah tertarik sama obat maupun ganja. Biar kata ganja atau mushroom tuh dari alam/alami, tetep aja. Gue aja kesel sama temen gue yang pada ngeganja. Pasti kalo uda giting cuma haha hehe haha hehe doang. Kesel! Kaya orang tolol! Untung mereka kalo gue gamparin ga marah eheeeee :p

Gue juga pernah jaga bareng sama temen yang neken. Tangannya biru biru ngeri gitu. Trus gue juga sering cerita-cerita sama temen temen gue yang, sedihnya, kebanyakan pada ngobat. Gue seneng sih mereka ngejagain gue, maksudnya, mereka gapernah nyoba buat nyekokin gue ekstasi lah sabu lah dll. Tapi tetep aja gue rasanya pengen narik mereka trus gue cekokin air zamzam ._. dan kalo misalnya mereka mulai nawarin sesuatu yang istilahnya gue ga ngerti, biasanya gue bbm si abang nanya ini apa itu apa (please jangan nanya kenapa bimo tau semua itu hahaha) trus yaaaah gue lamalama jadi tau dan lumayan bisa ngebedain. Semakin gue tau, untungnya gue semakin jijik sama NAZA dan ganja dan mushroom. Alkohol sih ayok ayok aja, tapi kalo obat? Ogah. Seriously, gue gapernah nangkep enaknya apa. Ya sensasinya ya mungkin, tapi mereka pernah gasih nyoba main di Timezone gitu? Itu juga stress therapy loh :|

Cuma gue kadang takut deh. Kan sering nih pada ngeganja disamping gue, ngebakar gitu. Gue lumayan sering ngirup asepnya. Takut gasih kalo tau2 gue jadi positif gitu :| Hiiii. Jangan ngebaks disamping gue ya, kalian :')

Disini gue cuma pengen ngomong aja kalo NAZA dkk itu sampah dan orang yang make apalagi sampe ketagihan itu tolol. Bodo amat, pokoknya tolol! Ga mikir panjang, buang buang duit, ga sayang sama lingkungan, dan resikonya kalo ketangkep bisa bikin malu keluarga. Terserah sih sebenernya, hak masing-masing. Kasian aja nyokap bokap lo sama anak cucu (kalo lo belom OD duluan ya). Mau ngebakar duit? Daripada ngeganja mending main kembang api. Hehe. Lagian serius deh.

Mereka yang ngomong kenapa ganja itu ilegal tapi alkohol engga itu sama aja begonya. Hhhhhhh.


Friday, October 26, 2012

This morning I woke up to dozen of your kiss and countless whisper saying 'kangen'. I think I can have this dozage of you every morning.

Well, you got me, Bim. :-)


Sunday, October 21, 2012

Now is all I know
Now is all I got
And I don't know if there will be tomorrow for us.

Now is all I care about
Now that you are here
Now that you're the contents of my heart.

Now you're all I know
Now is all I promise
And I don't know if there will be a future for us.

Now is all I live for
Now that you are near
And it was best that from the start it was clear.

Loving is not owning
We can let it go
We can let it go.
Loving is not owning
You can let me go
You can let me go.

There's a reason why we love each other now
And we don't know if this is forever.
There's a reason why we are together now
And we don't care if it's not forever now.

Now is all I think about
Now that I am happy
And I'm not sure if there will be a future for us.

Now is all I offer
It's everything I got
And I still wish that there will be a tomorrow for us.


Saturday, October 20, 2012


Expectations kill.

Well, harapan, atau ekspektasi, itu hal yang ga akan bisa lepas dari circle of life kita. Aku punya banyak harapan yang ngga kesampaian. But then in time, I learn. I learn that expectations dont kill, the way we react toward it does. Dulu aku pengen banget masuk Komunikasi UI. Pengeeeeen banget. I even wrote down 'Komunikasi UI 2010' on Friendster's Who I Want to Meet section. Tapi ternyata, aku masuk Sastra Inggris. Kecewa? Iyalah. Drop? Em... Jujur aja, waktu itu ga sempet ngerasain dropnya. Apalagi ngliat temen-temen lain yang way smarter than me didnt make it, I was a bit shocked. Then I knew I have to be grateful for what I got.

Banyak harapan yang dilandasi sama rasa iri. Aku selalu iri sama orang yang bisa nyanyi. Aku pengen bisa nyanyi. Pengeeeen banget. Tapi aku gamau maksain buat les vokal dsb karna aku sadar, suara bagus itu bakat natural. Aku? Nafas aja fals :") Aku pengen jadi kaya ini, aku pengen jadi kaya itu, then we try everything we can to imitate. Ini juga mungkin yang melandasi gampangnya sebuah tren masuk; rasa bersaing yang kenceng. Kapan abisnya? Mungkin pas bokek. :D

To be honest, sekarang aku ada di titik 'yaudahlah' di hidup. I mean, I got tired of wishing and expecting. I decided to accept things the way they are. Dulu, banyak saat dimana rasanya Tuhan bener bener becanda sama hidup, but then I decided to go with the flow. Sayang sama cowok yang ternyata memuakkan? Yaudahlah let go. Kerjaan tau2 dicancel? Yaudahlah tar juga dateng rejeki lagi. Bokap bikin ulah lagi? Yaudahlah emang tabiat. Sahabat rese banget? Yaudahlah emang anaknya begitu. And know how I see life now? Neutral :)

Being angry and disappointed about life are exhausting loh. God has given us everything and it is all planned kok. I mean, what you give is what you get. Nikmatin aja hidup, semua orang pada dasarnya sama sih. My life now seems so much better when I let og of those silly expectations. Disappointing life? Ga juga ;) I am more to seeing it as aims to be reached. I want something, so I will work my ass off for it. Also, I depend on nobody but me. If somebody else is able to help, I consider that as a bonus.

Harapan itu jangan dilihat dari rasa sakitnya kalo gagal, tapi dari encouragementnya. Ga ada usaha yang percuma kok. Walau akhirnya ga dapet, yaaa yaudahlah pasti ada ganti yg lebih bagus :D

Yaudahlah and Eventually are two of my fav words all the time :-)


Sunday, October 7, 2012


I just want to take a deep breath and thank God for everything I have for now. In recent.

So, I am now having a proper job in a cool office called Mirah Sakethi and deal with big companies like Freeport and Pertamina and some politic parties. I am able to pay everything in my life; and I will be paying my own tuition for next period, amen :-)

I also have bestfriends that stand beside me no matter what. We are now finally reaching the moment when it feels okay to have a fight because we believe; everything will be just okay eventually. Yeah, I'm in love with all of my besties from ES till college :-)

I also have my super boyfriend who is super annoying yet super lovable :-* Right now, I am trying to have this dont-break-up-learn-to-have-fights relationship. It is so nice to have someone who is willing to do everything just to see you smile, no? I love the way he loves me. I really do. I love you Bimi :-*

College? Yea since I am not doing those kind of jobs anymore (usher, model, spg etc) so I am now having my full concern and weekday time for college. 5th period is hard, but then so what? I am still able to handle this period *positive suggest* ehehehe let's just hope for the best, no? :-)

Mess around? Of course I still have the time! Ahahaha spend some nights just chatting with friends somewhere or going to parties or even playing at Timezone, I still have the time. Wml ;-)

Thank God. Thanks for everything You give me. I love You.

I really do.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.


Sunday, September 30, 2012

Fiksi #2

Aku percaya, hujan turun untuk menghapus semua kesedihan di bumi.

Kamu selalu tertawa dan mengatakan betapa konyolnya aku. Tak ada, katamu, tak ada hal yang seperti itu. Dewasalah.

Ya, kamu selalu menyuruh aku untuk menjadi dewasa. Meninggalkan semua pikiran-pikiran dan ide-ide rahasia untuk mewarnai langit menjadi merah jambu. Kamu, setelah menghembuskan asap dari rokok putih itu, akan berdiri dan menungguku untuk mengikuti. Lalu kita akan berjalan sebelum hari berubah jadi gelap.

Sekarang aku sedih, namun rasa-rasanya seribu hujan yang turun pun tidak akan banyak membantu.

Aku ingin berjalan kaki lagi di pasir itu. Di tepi pantai yang sangaaaaaat jauh dan sepi. Tempat dimana kita berdua duduk mengeringkan baju sambil menatap laut; mencari horizon di ujung yang berkilauan. Aku selalu merasa lucu jika berjalan diatas pasir. Susah loh berjalan tegak tanpa terjatuh. Tidak susah sih, jika kamu menggenggam tanganku.

Namun nyatanya, disampingku tidak ada kamu.

Kamu yang mengajarkan aku bahwa dunia itu jahat. Kamu yang mengajarkan aku untuk menjadi keras agar dunia tak lagi jahat. Tapi, sekeras apapun aku mencoba, dunia tetap terasa jahat. Apakah kamu tidak punya cara lain? Halo?


Aku ingat hari terakhir kita bertemu. Kamu tersenyum banyak sekali di senja itu. Aku masih ingat irama detak jantung dan deru nafasmu yang berat. Kokoh. Seharian memang sudah mendung, namun aku tidak perduli. Firasatku mengatakan aku harus bertemu kamu hari itu. Mungkin semesta berkonspirasi. Mungkin juga tidak. Puntung rokok terakhirmu kamu lempar ke jalan. Diikuti matamu. Yang kelak akan tertutup, untukku.

'Kamu... Baik baik ya."

Empat kata. Cuma empat kata itu yang kamu ucapkan sebelum akhirnya kamu mengendarai motormu lalu pergi bersama angin yang berhembus. Motor yang knalpotnya berisik. Motor tinggi yang selalu menyusahkanku jika aku ingin memakai rok. Motor kesayanganmu. Motor kebanggaanmu.

Motor yang menjadi identitasmu.

Lucu ya? Ketika orang lain dikenali dari KTP atau SIM, aku bisa langsung mengenalimu dari plat motormu. Walau kecelakaan itu telah membuatmu hancur sehingga tidak dapat dikenali oleh siapapun, aku percaya itu kamu, sayang. Hujan yang turun membuatmu menari dan tersungkur di tanah basah. Duniaku terasa seperti berhenti berputar, sayang.

Hujan datang untuk menghapus kesedihan.

Hujan menghapus kamu.
Sebelum sempat menjadi kesedihan.


Saturday, September 29, 2012

I have just done with the work today, and I have just changed my  clothes. Now waiting for him to pick me up. Okay, actually I'm waiting for his text first because his BIS is off an hour ago, and he probably is still doing his exam. No, not a college thing. Its perbakin, those shooters stuffs I'm not interested in ;p

Still at office tho. Surfing. I should be reading my novel that I should make a thesis from and get the essay about it done by Thursday. But I dont feel like doing it. I dont feel like doing anything necessary now.... Actually I want to go home and cuddle with my blanket, but cuddling with him sounds tempting :3

I dont know what to write actually :< perhaps I'm having a writer's block......like I am even a real writer pfffft.

tik tok tik tok time is ticking

where is bimiiiiiiiiii ._.


Sunday, September 16, 2012


You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain
And I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date
You can be the hero
And I can be your sidekick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's storming
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the morning

Don't know if I could ever be without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see that we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause you're the one for me
And I'm the one for you
You take the both of us
And we're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages
You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as were together

You know that I'll never doubt you
And you know that I think about you
And you know I can't live without you
I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

Because you are this one best thing that sets a curve on my lips when all the other things are trying to break me down.
And I am glad because you are always around.
When I had choices, the universe was conspiring to eliminate them one by one.
And there, I have you.
Right by my side.



Life: in recent.

Well hello blog. Been a while since a long quality post, no?

This period is so hectic. I am taking 22 credits and it feels like a suicidal. Tematis requires me to read a novel a week and creates one essay about it. Budpop requires two jurnals each week. Writing? Dont bother asking, I hate writing academically, and IT HAS 35% OF ENGLISH 5 HA. Tepeng requires me to read 20 pages every week. Pubspeak is full of presentation. Sejarah Cina? Dunno yet but I hear plenty of tasks it is. Hhhhhhhh

I also have this 2012 to take care of. Kyaaaa I'm old :') I'm the third year now :') Okay....

I also teach twice a week and have just started my job at Mirah Sakethi (google it!) as Public Affair :3 now I am handling Media Monitoring so I have to read newspaper(s). Yeah, it smartens me, both of my new job, ameeen. Anyway I want to have a carreer here. Who knows I might be a famous socialite public affair ;;)

Yes yes, thank God, I havent graduated but I already have a proper job :'-)

So my life revolves around college-task-teaching-working-meeting-dating! This last one is my fav eheeee :-p

Well hope you enjoy this period. Xo

P.s : I am longing to dye my hair xoxoxoxoxoxoxo


Sunday, September 9, 2012


Bimo. Thanks @3delapan!  (Taken with Instagram) 
Courtesy of 3delapan

Seumur umur belom pernah dugem sama pacar.. Selalu mandiri (maksudnya kalo mabok ya jaga diri sendiri, anw gue ga gampang mabok sih gimana dong ;p) buttttttttttt kemaren akhirnya pergi ke comebacknya Syndicate di Domain sama Bimo...

I have to say.

It feels so good ya kalo ada yang bisa dipeluk saat udah pusing pusing gajelas gitu.
It feels so good to be protected.
Thanks dear. You make me feel safe in your hug.
I am safe, aint I? 


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

"Yaa semenjak kita deket trus pacaran sih aku tiap malem selalu berdoa kamu itu yg terakhir deh buat aku"

I too, dear. I do too.


Monday, September 3, 2012

Hello Term 5! Hello 22 credits! Be good on me will ya? :*

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


Smile at the chance just to see you again 
I really miss you, I miss you, I said

an iPhone rang
She was asleep, but when she saw who was calling, she directly came wide awake


And all those dizziness, heaviness, hard to breathe-ness, were suddenly gone
That was when she knew she misses him that much it hurts her

'Aku kangen banget sama kamu sayang.'

She bit her lips
Enjoyed every second of that warm feeling like she used to feel when he holds her hand

'Aku juga kangen. Ngga ada ya mesin teleport?'
'Ngga ada dong sayang. Makanya kamu pulang.'

And that was when she realized,
His side is also a home for her.


Monday, August 20, 2012

Happy Eid Mubarrak 1433H!

The first to apologize is the bravest
The first to forgive is the strongest
The first to forget is the happiest

Taqabalallahu Mina Wa Minkum
Minal Aidzin Wal Faidzin
May the Force always be with us


Saturday, August 18, 2012

Surprise surprise!

Hola halo hola Jogja! Going back home means... REUNION! :">


Meminjam quotenya Nina sewaktu reuni :

"is now with the ones I had fun the most when I was in high school!!! xx"

Yessssss. I was meeting my theatre friends :D Nila Pangkaja 3031! I MISS THEM LIKE HEAPSSS!

Started at Subha, off to Happy Puppy. There, they gave me and Ayang a surprise birthday cake! Pinter ya coy biar dibayarin ._____. Hahaha truuuuuus I, berhubung laper dan balik bareng Fidi dan Seto dan Arda Ghana Izan Reno jg laper, went with the boys (iya, kata Arda gue kaya mami dan mereka lacurnya) nyari makan yg ended up di Sogul :" pedes ya cabe 7? ampun :p trus drive thru es krim cone di mcd! Ahihihi I had fun! What a night :"


Will upload the reunion part of photos soon ;)


Thursday, August 16, 2012


Well. Happy birthday to me!

I know it is a late post, but I really want to write down something about my new period of age. Klise ya. Tapi ulang tahun itu selalu bisa menjadi sesuatu sih. A fresh start. An 'enough' period. A new freedom. People need symbolization, dont they? I do. Something countable. Age. :-)

So here I am, enjoying my new days as a 20 years old. No longer a teenager. I feel old

Kalo ulang tahun gue manis biasanya tahun itu bakalan jadi manis juga. Ulang tahun ke 18 itu manis locccc ;;) I have to admit that year went well :") Ulang tahun ke 19 sampah, cih, dan gue kebanyakan miserable along the year :''') Ulang tahun kali ini... Hhhm manis kok. We'll see yah :P

First thing first, lets talk about priority.

Tahun pertama kuliah itu prioritas gue adalah bersenang senang mengenal Jakarta dan UI dan balik ke Jogja sesering mungkin buat pacaran. Yeah seriously, all I care about was how much fun I could get at Jakarta and when would I meet my current boyfie.

Tahun kedua kuliah itu prioritas gue... cari duit sebanyakbanyaknya. Iya, akademis gue ketinggalan abis. IPK gue drop 0,2 dari tahun pertama. Ada matkul pilihan yang failed. Ada yg absennya ampe 6. All because of work. And organization. Intinya, I abandoned my academic side.

Now, ulang tahun gue itu kebetulan selalu bertepatan sama pergantian tahun akademik. So... yeah. Menyusun resolusi untuk prioritas semester ini. Gue udah tahun ketiga di kampus, udah gabisa seenaknya ninggalin kuliah lagi. Mana sks gue benerbener baru half reached: 72. masih 72 sks lagi kalo mau lulus 4 tahun.

Jadi, sudah diputuskan bahwa..

Tahun Ketiga: Tahun Penyelamatan Akademik.

Well tujuan gue ke Jakarta itu buat kuliah. I dont want to be another stupid girl who only loves to shop and party till she drops. I mean, gue suka cari duit, gue suka belanja, gue suka nongkrong, gue suka dateng ke party, tapi gue harus tetep pinter. Wait, that comes out weird. I mean, I still have to be smart. Semua kesenangan yg gue demenin juga ga bakal dibawa ampe gede kan, consider that as a rebound. This year. These two years, if I may add.

Doesnt mean I stop having fun ya. Mungkin ga ada deh bolos seminggu buat kerja. Kerja pas weekend/diluar jam kuliah aja. Gaada sgud kalo besoknya kelas jam 8 pagi (trust me, sensasinya aneh luar biasa hahaha) Gaada surat sakit surat sakit lagi -_- tapi kalo jumat ada acara... hajar xob ahahahaha.

Intinya gue sadar kalo itu semua susah seimbang. Susah. Kerja-kuliah-main. Tapi yang lebih gue pengenin adalah kuliah gue lancar IPK gue bagus dan semoga bisa S2 di luar amiiiin!

Karna insya Allah masa depan gue ga cuma tergantung muka dan koneksi, tapi juga otak. :-)

Buat apa kuliah di UI? Buat apa dulu kelas 3 matimatian belajar IPA dan IPS cuma buat bisa jadi anak sosial di UI? Kalo gue mau jadi anak model begitu mending dulu masuk swasta sembarang ae ;p

What else? Hmm.. Oiya. Changes.

I have to get myself used to changes.

Like I said before, people grow. Sometimes, we grow apart. Its not the people that change, people dont do change. Life just does what it always does.

People we want most to stay, leave. People we never expect to do so, stay.

Life is what happens when we busy making plans.

Nothing lasts forever, seriously. :'-)

Back to the topic, twenties.

There will be a time when I will feel I am too old to do stuffs I do right now; I havent felt that way, anyway. Time will tell lah ya. Terserah sih kalo ada yg ngatain bocah. Baweeeeeel! Sampe sekarang juga gue masih lebih milih nongkrong di Dunkin daripada Lucy. Masih lebih milih cuddling di sofa sambil nonton DVD daripada fancy dinner somewhere. Masih lebih milih kalap beli buku banyak daripada beli handbag. Masih lebih milih movie marathon di bioskop daripada midnight sale. Huaaaahm thats just the way I am, eh? :"]


Monday, August 13, 2012

People grow, but sometimes, people grow apart.

No matter how much we want things to stay the same. Sometimes, its beyond our control. We cannot predict and overcome the scratch that comes.

As much as it hurts, it also begins to make sense. We can finally see clearly.

Moving on is a need, no?

I'm not talking about lover anyway ;-)


Sunday, August 12, 2012


Well as you know I lost my Blackberry. Twice. And the second one was just only for a month............ Hiks :"

Jadi gue mulai pusing banget ngadepin kecerobohan gue soal henfon. Ini yang bikin gue mikir duatigaempatlimakali buat beli Blackberry lagi. Sedih loh kalo ilang lagi :') Pertamanya gue udah bulet loh mau beli Blackberry after my fee is given, tapi.... Kejadian kemaren....

My iPhone was almost missing.


Jadi gini ceritanya. Kan gue diculik Bimo ampe saur mulu dari tanggal 8. Tanggal 9nya gue baru sempet tidur 3-4jam lah. Dan malemnya itu gue diajak main sm si arab lagi, birthday dinner ;p nah ampe saur lagi nih. Pulang saur jam set4an gitu kan, gue udah merem melek tuh di mobil. iPhone gue tuh habis gue mainin, gue pegang. Dan gue ketiduran di mobil. Tangan kiri megang iPhone, tangan kanan megang tangannya Bimo. Itu posisi terakhir gue sebelom ketiduran. Pas nyampe UI, cuma nyisa tangannya Bimo doang yg gue genggem. Orang udah ngantuk sih ya ga sadar dong ._. orang turun aja kalo ga dipeluk Bimo jatuh hahaha ngantuk geeeelak. Nah pas masuk kosan nih gue mau whatsapp Bimo kaaaan tapiiiiiii... iPhone gue ga ada di tas jengjeng. Lari lah gue keluar. Bimo udah pergi. Gue lari ke tempat parkir mobilnya, susur jalan ampe kosan gue. Gak ada. Gue minjem hape anak kosan dan nelfon Thyta suruh ngeDM bimo moses mitha. Keselnya adalah... BIMO HAPENYA MATI HUHUHUHU DAN DIA BARU BANGUN JAM 12 JADI GUE BARU BISA MINTA KEPASTIAN IPHONE GUE JATOH APA ENGGA DI MOBIL DIA JAM 12 SIANG SOBH! Dari jam 5-jam12 gue ngapain? Tidur? Gabisa lah gilak. Gue tiduran, patah hati, dan mau nangis. Akhirnya jam 10 gue cabut ke perpus buat wifi-an ambil ngontak anakanak. Akhirnya jam set1 Bimo nge-dm dan bilang dia otw UI. Sigap ya laki gue :"> tapi tetep aja ngeselin, kebo emang ._. ya ga kebo juga sih pasti Bimonya capek uuu cium sinisini :-*Makasih juga Thyta Mitha Mosez <3 p="p">
Intinya, gue ceroboh. Banget. Subhanallah.

Jadi bingung mau beli Blackberry lagi apa engga huuuuu gimana caranya biar ga ilang :<


Friday, August 10, 2012

Meaningful Birthday

This year's birthday was surprisingly hard and awesome. I cannot tell you what was it but I was facing a hard time, college's stuff, but then my friends helped me. They helped me too much I love them forever and always. Xxxxxxxx

Anyway I spent those days with mas pacar muehehehehehehe :-p He is one of the good things these days. Diculik lagi ajaloh pas tgl 8. Ngajak jalan, eh bablas Puncak (hayo) main kembang api sama makan malem :D Dia nemenin ampe saur, dan lalu malemnya pas tgl 9 dia nemenin lagi ampe saur lagi jadi intinya gue kurang tidur mulu belakangan ini....tapi cinta kok muah makasih Bimo :-*

Ini beneran step buat ke period umur baru, twenties. Kaya dikenalin langsung sm Tuhan ke whole new level of problems. God sure loves joking, eh? Heem -_-

Still. I am thankful.

Thank You, God.


Sunday, August 5, 2012

Hey love

Because you didnt ask why. You just knew I was sad and upset after I got the call. When I asked you to walk again, you held my hand. Strong. Protective. And you said 'dont be sad'. You were just there, walking right beside me and holding my hand tight. We walked thru the night and the light. If you asked my why I was giggling, its because I saw your face when you finally made me smile again. Thanks for drawing that curve, love. Thanks for protecting. Thanks for always being there in the right moment. Awovu :3


Friday, August 3, 2012



Ya ampun, jangan bilang itu dia. Aduh ngga lucu banget kalo itu beneran dia sama pacar barunya. Gue udah ngga ketemu dia selama… dua tahun? Dan sumpah ngga lucu banget kalo akhirnya kita ketemu sekarang. Saat gue lagi sama Dita dan dia lagi sama Raka.

“Kenapa yang?”
“Eh? Gapapa sayang. Kamu jadinya mau pesen apa?”
“Nggatau. Bentar ya aduh.”

Dita balik lagi ngeliatin menu. Dan dia… shit pelayan brengsek, mereka berdua disuruh duduk ke samping gue. Tolong, rasanya gue mau nuker posisi gue sama kursi manapun yang ada di restoran ini asal ngga di deket..



“Hehe eh Putri, apakabar?”
“Ya ampun Putraaaaa! Lama banget kita ngga ketemu ya! Gue baik dong, lo gimana?”

Mereka berdua beneran duduk di sebelah gue dan Dita. Ya Tuhan, apakah ini cara dari Lo buat nyuruh gue sholat?

“Hehe baik juga Put. Iya lama ya ngga ketemu. Kapan coba terakhir kita ketemu gue sampe lupa.”

Anjing jelas lah gue masih inget kapan kita terakhir ketemu. Malam waktu gue ke rumah dia, duduk di balkonnya, dan mainin rambutnya. Gue bahkan inget kaos apa yang gue pake waktu itu. Gimana bintang malem itu. Acara TV apa yang kedengeran dari kamar dia.

“Kayaknya dua tahun yang lalu ga sih? Gue lupa persisnya kapan. Ga berubah lo ya Put hahaha”

Gue cuma bisa nyengir dengernya. Gue gabisa dong jawab ‘iya Put, kan lo yang berubah Put’. Selama ini gue cuma ngeliat fotonya dia dari bbm anak-anak dan sesekali buka instagramnya, tapi emang Putri berubah. Rambutnya udah panjang, dan poninya udah bukan poni samping, udah kepanjangan buat jadi poni. Dia masih putih. Dan dia udah jadi cewek dandan. Bajunya juga udah lebih manis. Kaos bocah sama jeansnya udah ganti jadi atasan chiffon sama rok. Sneakersnya berubah jadi flat shoes. Putri…


“Yang! Bengong deh. Jadinya pesen apaa?”
“Haha spaghetti aja ya sayang tolong tulisin. Minumnya coke aja.”
“Okee. Spaghettinya yang apa? Beef apa chicken?”

Gue waswas mikirin Dita ngeh apa engga kalo ada Putri di samping. Atau bahkan apakah dia inget Putri apa engga. Di samping, Putri lagi ngobrol mesra sama Raka. Dan tiba-tiba, Putri mainin jarinya Raka. Shit. Dia dulu biasanya mainin jari gue. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Yaaaang kok diem aja sih?”
“Ngga sayaaang. Kamu jadinya pesen apa tadi?”
“Kok ngga makan nasi? Kamu kan belom makan nasi seharian. Makan nasi ah.”
“Yah yang udah pesen….”
“Yaudah habis nonton kamu makan lagi fix! Kalo ngga aku tinggal di pinggir tol.”
“Jahat fix!”


Restorannya penuh. Gue udah ngantuk banget sebenernya, tadi di mobil Raka aja gue udah merem melek. Berisik lagi restorannya. Haduh.

“Mau disini aja apa mau pindah yang?”

Gue ngedarin pandang nyari yang kosong, dan….. aduh itu ada Putra. Aduh. Aduh. Sama si Jelek. Sip. Sebelahnya kosong. Udah lama gue kepo sama Dita.

“Makan disini aja yang itu kosong.”

Degdegan rasanya. Udah lama sejak gue ketemu sama Putra. Terakhir gue ketemu sama Putra itu… damn. Waktu kita masih pacaran. Setelah kita putus lewat bbm…. Udah ga pernah kontak sama sekali. Aduh rasanya campur aduk banget.

Tapi fix gue harus sok asik. Apalagi pacar barunya Putra segitu doang.


Dia kok ngga kaget sih  ngliat gue? Kesel deh.

“Hehe eh Putri, apakabar?”

Sekarang? Sekarang sih udah baik Put. Lo ga mau nanya pas awal kita putus dulu kabar gue gimana?

“Ya ampun Putraaaaa! Lama banget kita ngga ketemu ya! Gue baik dong, lo gimana?”

Baik  banget lah gila gue. Dapet Raka, kuliah gue lancar, kerjaan lancar. Halo? Lo apakabar Put? Hidup kok gitu-gitu aja.

 “Hehe baik juga Put. Iya lama ya ngga ketemu. Kapan coba terakhir kita ketemu gue sampe lupa.”

Tai banget sih dia lupa kapan kita terakhir ketemu! Malam itu Put! Lo ga inget waktu lo ke rumah gue, duduk di balkon gue, dan mainin rambut gue? Gue bahkan inget gimana cuaca malem itu. Gimana gue kesel lo gabawa jaket padahal naik motor.

“Kayaknya dua tahun yang lalu ga sih? Gue lupa persisnya kapan. Ga berubah lo ya Put hahaha”

Hahahahahahahahahahaha ketawanya gue lanjut di hati aja ya put. Lo ga berubah sama sekali. Masih pake kacamata yang sama. Kaos dan jeans. Dompet lo ga berubah. Kunci mobil lo juga masih yang dulu, gantungan yang gue kasih lo kemanain Put?

Mata lo juga masih sama coklatnya.
Senyum lo masih sama.


“Okee. Spaghettinya yang apa? Beef apa chicken?”

Chicken. Pasti Putra pilih chicken. Aduh rasanya pengen ngata-ngatain Dita ‘lo kenal Putra gasih?’ tapi tahan ya Putri….. mending lo mainin jarinya aja. Gemes gemes gemes. Gue gemes sama keadaan ini.

“Kok ngga makan nasi? Kamu kan belom makan nasi seharian. Makan nasi ah.”
“Yah yang udah pesen….”
“Yaudah habis nonton kamu makan lagi fix! Kalo ngga aku tinggal di pinggir tol.”
“Jahat fix!”


Masih pake anceman itu Put? Dulu lo sering loh ngancem ninggal gue di pinggir tol…. Lagu lama ya ternyata? Hahaha. Lo gitu juga ke Dita toh. Heeem.

“Cause its you and me.. and all of the people with nothing to do.. nothing to lose..”

Kenapa harus lagu ini?
Kenapa harus lagu ini?
Gue pengen ngeliat Putri tapi…
Gue penasaran sama reaksinya Putra tapi…
Dia inget ga ya ini lagu first kiss kita?
Dia inget ga ya ini lagi di radio mobilnya pas dia nyium gue buat pertama kali?
Kayaknya sih Putri ga inget.
Paling si Putra lupa.
Kapan sih dia inget kenangan kita berdua.
Kapan sih dia inget kenangan kita berdua.
Yang ada diotaknya cuma Raka.
Yang dia inget paling cuma Dita.
Tapi gue..


Lama banget ga nulis fiksi cheesy gini. Kacau ya? ._. I should write more


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I missed two flights to Jogja these two months and I am ngambek maksimal I dont know if I want to go back to Jogja or not.

Ini aturan gue udah duduk manis di Jogja nih bukannya duduk manis di bengkelnya Bimo.
Yaudah gapapa deh sama Bimo ini. Menghibur sekali :'-)


Sunday, July 29, 2012

Jakarta dan Jogja di mata saya, secara jujur

Jakarta dan Jogja

Sebenernya aku udah pernah ngeblog soal ini, beberapa kali. Tapi sekarang udah sedikit lebih menumpuk dari biasanya, so I’m gonna write it down :---)

Dari SMP aku udah pengen sekolah di Jakarta. Dulu pernah ngerasain SD disana bentar, dan ketagihan. Sejak masuk SMP 5, aku udah pengen banget masuk SMA 70. Ciee anak Bulungan hahaha. Tapi turned out Papa pindah Semarang, pupus deh. Sewaktu di SMA 1, aku belom tau sih pengen kuliah dimana, tapi yang jelas aku ga tertarik sama sekali kuliah di UGM. Dan dulu pengen banget Komunikasi UI atau Unpad, tapi akhirnya daftar UI doing. UGM juga last minute karena dipaksa si setan BK hahahahahahahaahahahahah (maaf bu damai) dan alhamdulillah, SIMAK lsg tembus Sastra Inggris UI. The best decision of my life :-3

Lengkaplah mimpi pengen balik ke Jakarta. Disitu aku belom sadar kenapa aku pengen banget kuliah di Jakarta. Tapi lama kelamaan, ketauan juga sebenernya kenapa.

Muak sama Jogja. There. I said it.

Bukan muak sama kotanya, bukan muak sama makanannya, bukan muak sama udaranya. No, Jogja is one hell of a place to live
Jogja itu comfy banget buat hidup, tapi in my opinion, nggak comfy buat berkembang.
Pergaulannya yang bikin enek. Well, Jogja itu sempit. SMA negerinya aja cuma ada…. 11? Dan SMPnya juga.. oke aku gatau SMP negerinya ada berapa hehehe :p dan itu sempit banget. Atau emang aku yang mainnya di itu itu aja? Tapi all people surround me are circling in the quite same environment.
Aku muak.

Muak rasanya harus jaga image. Contoh ya. sekolah di Teladan. Seenggaknya pas sekolah kerudung rapi deh, baik baik deh, jangan macem-macem, dan terserah di luar mau ngapain. Common picture. I tell you what, BULLSHIT hahaha.

Sebelumnya, jangan menggeneralisasikan apa yang bakal aku omongin ya. Ini cuma yang kebetulan kejadian di hidupku aja. Mungkin aku yang salah pergaulan :p

Awal masuk Teladan masih jaman friendster tuh. Nah ada group Teladan gitcuu. Pas aku buka, ada discussion group tentang kenapa kok cewek Teladan yang di sekolah pake jilbab tapi pasang PPnya gapake jilbab. Reaksi pertama: sumpah yang memulai diskusi ini selo banget hidupnya. Kepo sih tapi :p pas baca, eh kata-kata yang dipake ga santé banget. Pokoknya kasar dan merasa bener bgt lah. Aku lupa aku pertamanya ngereply apa (langsung reply nar? Padahal masih kelas 1? Dan isinya kelas 3 semua? Sakit jiwa) trus sampe ada yang ngebales gini “biarin aja mas, mereka sudah hebat, mereka sudah merasa sehebat itu sampai mendustai perintah tuhannya, mereka sudah sehebat itu” …………..WAH NGAJAK RIBUT FIX.  Tau ngga yang lebih ngeselin? Yang ngomong itu orangnya jelek rambutnya lepek sok alim tapi MBRIBIKAN PACARAN!!!! DAN DIA ALAY BANGET. Dan aku langsung jawab ‘gila kalian siapa emang? Lebih hebat dari rasul? Orang rasul aja ngingetin orang bahasanya ga sekasar kalian. Merasa lebih hebat dari rasul? Dan mas rian 2008 yang dewasa dan keren langsung menjawab ‘astaghf makasih koreksinya, saya kelepasan blablabla’ padahal yang taktuju it bukan mas rian, tapi itu tuh si inisial AR anak 2009. Dia malah kicep, gabales lagi, yee cupu. Die aja. :p

Beda loh bersikap baik sama bersikap fake. Kalo kamu emang pengen baik, yaudah bersikap baik lah. Ramah. Gausah pura-pura care ke orang atau pura-pura tertarik tapi ujung-ujungnya ngomongin, ngatain, ngaduin ke pihak lain, buset mendingan sabung ayam deh ngaduin ayam dapet duit daripada adu domba hm. Ga kaget banget deh kalo misalnya kita temenan sama A yang selama ini kita tau si A sebagai temennya si B tapi ternyata si A ngomongin si B.

Bakal ada juga tipikal everybody’s friend. Mereka yang kayanya temenan sama semua padahal ga ada yg pure. Apal banget deh sama yang model begini -____-

Lagu lama, kaset baru.

Kaset rusak sih.

Maksudnya gini loh. Orang orang di Jogja itu sebagian (yang saya kenal) terlalu usil dan ngurusin yang lain. Dan karena kotanya itu kecil, omongan itu jadi gampang nyebar. Kalo di Jakarta, kotanya besar. Pergaulannya lebih luas. Orang-orang juga terlalu sibuk sama hidupnya sendiri jadi males ngurusin orang lain. Misalnya ya ada temen kampus yang mau bunuh diri karena mantan. Coba kalo di Jogja, pasti udah dijadiin omongan dan pasti deh dikepoin ampe mantannya lah, pacar baru mantannya lah, dll. Kalo di Jakarta paling cuma aa oo aa oo doang. Mungkin karena hidup di Jakarta lebih keras dan lebih kompetitif kali ya, jadi orang-orang itu sibuk sama apa yang mereka punya dan mereka pengen punya. Kalo di Jogja mungkin karena sudah terlalu nyaman sama hidup masing-masing jadi ya seselo itu buat ngurusin hidup orang lain.

Dan kita jadi otomatis harus jaga image supaya bisa survive dari semua kenyinyiran ini.

We dress to please people we don’t even know that well.

Its not all kok, aku udah bilang jangan digeneralisasikan. Sekali ketemu lingkungan yang udah klik ya udah oke. Tutup kuping aja sama yang lain mau bilang apa.
Aku suka sama lingkunganku sekarang. I dont care anymore about what others say about me as long as my circles know me. Bukan berarti aku selamat lohya. Temenku barusan bilang ke aku kalo gosip berkata nara ngrokok mabok dan lain lain. Kalo iya trus kenapa? Aku mabok pake duit kalian? Ngga kan? Bahkan aku kalo mau ngebandel juga ga ada tuh pake duit ortu. I pay my own life loh. Kalian? Halo? Hahahaha.

Aku ga pernah bermaksud ngeluarin kata-kata jahat, nyenthe, nyebelin, tapi kayaknya emang dari dasarnya begitu. I cant help then. Take it or leave it? Ga ada option kaya gitu. Adanya 'just pretend to take it but talk about it behind' hahahaha! >:p

Pake headset. Pake kacamata item. Buat hidup.



Gue diculik!

Untung yg nyulik ganteng #eh :p so it all started saat si mitha ngajak gue belanja ke ambas dan nyalon dulu di sari. Dia ngajakin luluran. Here it went; lulur dan creambath. Karna bayangan gue kita mau ke ambas jadi gue selow doooong pake rok mini :") trus trus si mitha minta makan di Delibel depan sari, yauds masuklah gue kesana nemenin dai. Beberapa menit kemudian ada sesosok arab yang masuk ke Delibel. Gue terdiam dan terpukau. Dan teriak 'Ngapain lo disini!' yak itulah si Bimo Prakoso yang cuma nyengir nyengir dan bilang 'Gue mau nyulik elo.' Oh meeeeeeeen! Dan waktu keluar, si Bimo bawa Jangkriknya. Duh gue mulai mikir: biasanya kalo ke Tebet doang dia bawa motor? :'' tp fiks bgt gue gada feeling apa apa, mana dia kemaren habis sakit. Dan saat dia mulai ambil tol luar kota....bogor.....sentul...

Oh my, gue diculik buat nemenin dia offroad.

Its not that I dont want to do it! Gue jg udah janji sama dia bakal nemenin offroad tapi please banget setelan gue kaya mau nongkrong di coffee shop bukan kebantingbanting di mobil :") mana gue habis luluran sama creambaaath fix bgt mitha ngerjain gue! Grrrrr Bimo jg (tapi Bimo dimaafin kok HAHAHA) gue udah spaneng gitu and he held my hand and he said that everything was going to be alright. And I trust him :-) dan ketemu temen-temennya Bimo duluu ada Bima, Hasbi, sama Doni yg otaknya kebalik semua hahaha! And it really was my first time doing offroad! Di Bukit Sentul! Kita naik sore, sempet berhenti bentar, gue gatau mau beli apa buat buka since me has no appetite jadi cm beli gery pasta tapi Bimo ternyata udah nyiapin gue makanan buat buka puasa :3 uh padahal dia ga puasa. Baiknyaa. Sinisini :3 :3
Naiknya seruuu ahahaha DAN SEMPET HAMPIR KEBALIK DONG :"D disitu gue sm Bimo lsg liriklirikan dan fiks bgt Bimo panik mampus ahahahahahahahaha aduh masih pengen ketawa kalo inget :"D nyetttt gue antara panik sama kaget liat mukanya Bimo jd cm bs ktawa ngakak hahahaha! Trus anak2 cm pada cengar cengir bilang 'asik kan nar' he eh asik :)) gajadi ke puncak soalnya treknya jelek, yaudah we spent the night on kaya apa ya, mess gitu tp aslinya itu rumah penduduk. Ibu2nya baik :-) anjingnya banyak, gede lagi, ada yang panik gitu pas pertama dateng liat anjingnya :p *toel* bakar kayu, makan popmie, pada ngebaks ck kurang2in shay :p and I gotta tell you man, sentul is so colddddd at night. Lucky me, Bimo udah nyiapin sweater gitu. Sama akhirnya dia ambil kaos buat nutupin paha gue yg lamalama gue makan karna uda jadi es batu. Daaan altho it was cold, I had someone who kept me warm kok :p aih mateee hahahahaha (anjir udah kaya orang giting ngeblog haha haha mulu) trus kejutannya ga berhenti sampe situ aja..

Bimo bawa KEMBANG API! :'-D

Cant say how surprised I was. How can he be so.... Rrrrgg :" sebagian dinyalain di mess sebagian dinyalain di sort of bukit bintang gitu. Maaan it was awesome!!! You could never imagine how happy I was! Ditambah some words he said..... But thats for private pleasure ;p hihihi then we stopped at KFC buat saur then he dropped and walked me home. You know that night I felt so lucky to have a man like him on my life. You guys should reaaaaally envy me. Smua yg gue pengenin lengkap dikasih dalam satu package! Holiday, fresh cold air, fireworks, bukit bintang, and him :$

You guys should really really really envy me! ;)

Makasih ya Bimo ;)

Tapi besok kalo mau nyulik bilang bilang ya. Ga kebayang aja kalo gue diajak dugs sama Mitha tapi ternyata lo nyulik gue buat offroad di somewhere cold padahal gue setelannya mau dugs. Please gue ngambek sebulan kalo gitu :")

And dont say 'sebulan doang? Sepelee' kaya kuat aja nyuekin gue huf hahaha!


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Well, mereka berdua adalah teman perjalanan mengarungi liburan ahahahahaha. 
Kerja bareng, main bareng, galau bareng, cak-cakan bareng, bokek bareng, kaya bareng. 
Makasih ya udah selalu nurutin bm-bm gue dari dimsum, smirnoff, kembang api, mabok, dugem, ampe ayam penyet ehehehe ;p
I love love love you!

"Waah slmt ulg thn tantee..yg sabar urus nara ya tantee..dia rese tp cantik tante"

"Ih! Gue ga rese. Tapi pasti nyokap setuju deh sama lo. Huhu"

"Iyalah. Kan gue sependapat sm nyokap lo. Sama-sama sayang juga sama lo #eh"


I dont mind playing these ah-eh-ah-ehs as long as you keep being cute like this >:p

Do we both look stupid? Nevermind. I dont mind.
Do you?



You know I love you so.


Monday, July 23, 2012

I'm so good at destroying people who love me, eh?
I'm so sorry I never want to push you around but I dont know its just I have this trust issue.
And this pride, sometimes it walks ahead of me.

I know you love me, I do. I'm so sorry I'm so sorry if I hurt you :'-(

I love you too, you know.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Funny Experience

Been a while since I blogged.

Well, things happen. Lately I have been posting about how depressed I was because of GPA but well,,, it turned out to be, well, acceptable. A bit of slap in the face, yet yeaaah I am thankful :-)

So I wanna tell you about this one experience that is funny, to me. I once had a crush. We called, watched movies, ate sushi, he drove me home, we made several plans. We talked about future. The point is, he is........ I mean, he's an artist (I know he said he hated me for calling him this yet he actually enjoyed it :p) and he has a perfect English and cute accent and he's smart and he's ambitious. He is 5 years above me. Everything seemed perfect.

Until one night, it ruined.

He got into a stupid fight with a friend of mine because he saw him hugged me. My friend was mad because he ruined my friend's Fred Perry -_________- Stupid, isnt it? That night is sure one hell of a night. It was the mistake that makes you hold your breath everytime you remember it. It was times ago anyway. I moved on, totally :P Yet it really tickles me somewhat hahaha well just when everything seemed perfect, broooo! Nevermind, the new one is better kok #EHHHHHHH

Its just, it was my first time seeing men fought fist to fist because of me live from the scene :'D I mean, not that I never got myself into that kind of position, yet I had never been into it directly. It ruined my friendship with some friends tho (since he is an artist that is commonly used by some of my friends so they scare it will ruin their business) and my friend that hugged me is a man who worked in Populair Magazine that is linked to several 'names'. Imagine how mad everyone is to me :""")

I am a grown up, I shouldnt be enjoying this............

Yet its like I am cursed. Whats with those men sih? And whats with their women either? I am doing nothing, I swear, tp knapa gue kesannya kaya lacur yang suka mainin cowok uh shit.

Actually all I care about is my name. Gue emosi deh nama gue yg jadi jelek kalo gini padahal what have I done? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -____-

Well yaudalaya. I'm over that, cuma sekarang cukup tau aja. I've learned enough, and I've learned the hard way. Patah hati ngga? Thanks God the feeling hadnt been too deep... tho it still hurt a little, but I'm okay, always will, always be ;)

Gain some, lose some.

Beterin Beteri Vadir :)


Saturday, June 23, 2012

Gendut. Bantet. Halo?

Fix banget waktu ngetik ini lagi dengerin MCR. The End, lagu pertama di Black Parade. 
Well come on come on to this tragic affair~

Pada suatu sore hari yang indah di tahun 2007 (cieh) dua anak kiyut nan lucu bernama Nara dan Ninda sedang berjalan bersama di Galeria yang kebetulan bertemu dengan teman satu SMP yang bisa disebut Rani. Rani lagi jalan sama cowok gendut yang namanya… oke waktu itu kita berdua ga ada yg tau nama dia siapa. Kita bahkan baru tau dia anak smp 5 :p well kenalan, katanya namanya Maman. Itu aja dikenalin Rani. Dia ga ngomong apa-apa kayaknya. Dan kita juga ga perduli sih uhuk siapah diah :p
Then, di tahun yang sama, aku terdampar di sebuah sekolah yang bisa disebut Teladan. Dan tepatnya, di kelas sepuluh internasional dua. Keren ya kayaknya? emang keren kok. Waktu masuk kelas, mengedarkan pandang, nemu beberapa muka yang kenal-able. Salah satunya adalah si Maman ini. And I was like OOOH SI CUPU ITU! hahaha :p Eh ternyata kita minatnya sama, Teater Nila Pangkaja. Gatau sih dia emang minat apa karna Rani minat :p tapi yaaa akhirnya kita berempat sering ke studio bareng dan jadi deket (Nara, Thyta, Iza, dan Maman) dan karna Rani deket sama guweh jadi ya otomatis sering main bareng dan cerita-cerita bareng. I guess that was our first sharing. Maman’s feeling towards Rani. Well, I watched him cried. Suatu sore yang berangin di lapvol, dan cuma kita berdua. Atau sama iza? I lost track! Disitu aku sempet jadi penengah antara mereka berdua, tapi ujung-ujungnya jadi lebih deket ke maman. Yaiyalah sekelas. Dan masa-masa itu, adalah masa-masa dimana kita pulsekteng ke studio trus leyeh-leyeh. Si Maman tidur kayak sapi gelonggongan di studio (biasanya sama oknum B a.k.a Bunga) dan Nara Iza Thyta berjemur di lapbas alias larut. Then we walked home together.

Berlanjutlah kepada kebiasaan nonton pensi bareng. Dini juga sering ikut deh kayaknya. Pensi, pocinan, hahaha good times. Waktu ituuu kita jadi anak film sih dibawah naungan kakak Maherdhita wkwk jadi ya sering nongkrong bareng diluar NP dan kelas (oh iya, NP beda sama film :p)
Kesel gak sihhhhhhhhhhhhh waktu acara ulang tahun lo hari minggu sahabat lo ngomongnya gabisa dating tapi ternyata malah ketemu? Rasanya kaya….. MAMPUS duarrrrrrr! Hahahah trus ada yg nelfon nelfon minta maaf sambil mewek gitudeh :p yaudah nyerah deh dimaapin. Kaget yah diboongin sahabat? Ckck.
Beranjak ke kelas dua. Nisqul pulang, dan menjadi dekat sama si Maman. Sempet ada masalah (bukan sama aku, percaya ga? Ketauan boong ya? Yah. Yaudah deh ngaku *gampangan*) tapi I trust him more than I doubt him. dan kayaknya dia juga deh, maaf ya nisquuuul tapi kamu aja juga ngaku kamu salah kan (yaudah sih nar?) ehehehe maaf ya:”>
Whats next? Mmh kejutan ulang tahun? Maman didiemin sama Nara seminggu dan akhirnya nangis di depan PH bilang “aku gamau kehilangan sahabat kaya kamu..” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IT STILL FEELS SO FREAKING FUNNY :”D nevertheless, I loved you at that time. Hfft
Apa lagi sih? Aduh kebanyakan deh ndut aku pusing ngetiknya. Basing bareng, ngeband, PTB, Pangandaran, ke Bandung bareeeeng ulalaaa~
males ngumbar aib sih sebenernya heheheh 
habis sedih sih. 

Iya. Sedih. 

Those times were good times for me, knowing I have someone I can count on. Iya. Kamu selalu bisa diandalkan ndut. Ga kayak koke. Kamu, dan Iza, adalah dua cowok yang paling bisa diandalkan setiap saap setiap waktu. Tapi lebih kerasa kamu sih ndut. Karna.. yaaaa emang kita lebih sering bareng. Kesel sih rasanya kamu ampe nyindir aku waktu aku nanya di fb (if you and I were stranded on an island, what do you think I will bring) dan kamu dengan brengseknya jawab (helm, karna kamu pasti bakal minta nebeng sampe concat :]) hahahah taik ndut sampah -_- tapi aku seneng kamu ga pernah protes dengan istilah nebeng karna dayuuuummmmn itu bukan nebeng brooo itu ngojek gratisan eheheheheheheh ._. but I know no matter what, you will always be there for me.

Tapi. Itu dulu.

Dulu, setiap aku ke Jogja, pasti kamu nyempetin main sama aku. Setiap aku mau balik Jakarta, kamu pasti nganter aku. Setiap aku nelfon, pasti kamu respon. Setiap aku nangis kamu pasti ngedengerin. Setiap aku pengen ngobrol pasti kamu ladenin.
Dan sekarang, setelah kamu punya pacar, poof!
Ga nyalahin kamu sih. Pacarmu juga stress. Tiap kali kamu cerita soal dia pasti cerita gimana kamu muak dan pengen putus. But then, kapan sih aku pernah nyaranin kamu buat putus aja sama dia. Inget gak siapa yang pertama kali manggil sayang? Kamu kan? Inget gak itu siapa yang ngetik smsnya? Aku ndut. Aku seneng (pertamanya) kamu naksir icha. She, seemed like a good girl. I was so happy for you :D tapi kenapa icha gasuka sama aku ya? Kenapa dia nganggep aku nggatel? Aku ga ngerti, kita udah temenan tiga tahun pas kalian pertama jadian, aku jauh di UI, aku punya pacar (pas itu), kita ga kontakan intens, jarang banget malah, aku jarang banget balik Jogja, tapi kenapa ya masih aja dipermasalahin?
Aku gabakal ndut jatuh cinta sama kamu. You know me, you know us.. Padahal kamu bilang dia juga punya temen kaya kamu ke aku, tapi kamu aja juga ga ngerti sama dia, and how do you expect me to understand?
Dan mulailah kita sahabatan backstreet. Telfonan pas kamu lagi pura2 ketiduran atau kamu emang udah pamit tidur. Main tanpa bilang dia. Main bedua tapi bilangnya se RT. But theeeeeen you distanced yourself. You became unreachable. Padahal aku bener bener lagi butuh sahabat pas itu. aku lagi putus sama koke, dan asdfghjkl banget rasanya. 

Where were you?

I lost you.

I lost you.

I lost you.

Kemarin thyta sms kamu nanyain mau ketemu gak nara lg di jogja, dan kamu gabales. Kita kirain kamu sibuk kuliah. Okay. Tapi kita ketemu pas kamu sama cewekmu lagi jalan di amplas dengan selonya. Aku benci banget sama kamu ndut. Aku jijik, bisa-bisanya ada yang ngetook bestf for granted. Yeah, those friendship years clearly meant nothing for you, eh? Ngerti kok udah sibuk, udah punya pacar yang galak kaya macan yang daridulu pengen diputusin tapi gapernah tega tapi pas sekalinya baik2 langsung diturutin mulu, udah punya dunia sendiri, well ngerti kok.

Aw lagunya skrg Disenchanted! Kamu dulu ngajarin aku petikannya loh aw.

Seriusan. Aku ngerti. Consider this as a farewell words of mine, then. Aku gaperduli kalo aku frontal kaya setan disini, tapi aku ga tahan lagi. Kehilangan sahabat itu lebih taik daripada kehilangan pacar  uwow sakit sekali rasanya, tapi yaaaaaaaa gimana lagi. Sepihak doang lagian sakitnya, yagak ndut? You don’t care. You wont.
Yaudah deh aku ngalah, I’m walking away. Sadly shouting I lost one of my best men. Gapapaaa. I still have them, dan aku masih perawan (yoi) hehehe
Makasih yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sudah pernah menjadi sahabat yang paling baik.
Jaga diri ya ndut. Its been a great journey for me, so sad you end it. 
Well, take care. I love you :-)

Well when you go, don’t ever think I’ll make you turn to stay. And maybe when you get back, I’ll be off to find another way~

p.s : self note, do not ever trade your bestf for lover, because you have no fuckin idea what it feels like.