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Monday, October 31, 2011

selamat datang, fajar

▼Gelapmu sudah kunanti dari saat senja menyapa. eh, tunggu, itu dulu, gelapmu selalu kunanti sehingga aku akan cepat bertemu lagi dengan sang senja. sehingga waktu akan berputar lebih cepat. sehingga kami akan bertemu lebih cepat. sehingga beban rindu di hati tidak lagi mengikat.

Sekarang aku takut ketika kau datang, bersama udara dingin dan tenggelamnya matahari. semuanya akan selalu terasa lebih berat disaat penghujung hari. memori tentang semuanya akan selalu terulang. bagaimana senyum itu terukir, lalu akan terus berjalan ke bagaimana air mata itu jatuh.

Bagaimana semuanya menghilang dari genggaman, menghilang dari pandangan, lalu menghilang dari jangkauan.

Fajar, kau selalu memberikan sebuah arti. dulu aku menunggumu karna kau selalu datang bersama sebuah sapaan manis. lalu kau selalu datang dengan sebuah kata cinta. lalu kau selalu datang dengan ungkapan rindu. lalu kau selalu datang dengan deru motor di depan rumah. dan kau akan berakhir dengan deru yang sama dikala Senja. Meninggalkanku bermimpi indah untuk bertemu lagi dengan Fajar yang baru.

Sekarang kau datang dengan kecemasan, akankah semua berjalan baik-baik saja? ataukah tidak? akankah semua akan berlanjut, ataukah berhenti sampai disini?

Dan ternyata semua itu terhenti.

Tuhan selalu punya cara untuk menunjukkan bahwa hanya Ia yang Maha Menentukan, tak perduli seberapa besar manusia berusaha. Mubram dan Muallaq, dua hal yang memaksakan kepercayaanku untuk patuh.

Kita bisa berencana, namun pada akhirnya, semua keputusan bukan berada di tangan kita. Tuhan adalah sutradara, dan kita adalah astrada, dimana bisa saja kita yang nampak sibuk mondar mandir sana sini, namun sesungguhnya kita hanya mengikuti apa yang Sutradara perintahkan.

Maka, jangan bermimpi tentang kau bisa mengontrol hidupmu sendiri, Nara. Fajar akan selalu datang, namun membawa aroma yang berbeda.▲


Tuesday, October 25, 2011


▼I looked back to somewhere in the first 2010, when I decided to let go of you.
I looked back to those posts.
You said that us were like a circle; yet life is so much more than have to run in the same circle.

Did you even notice?
That I had been on our circle way much longer than you had.

I pray for things to be different. Last time, you were gone, you were with someone else, I was hurt. I had tried to open my heart to someone else who was, no, is, waaay much nicer than you (right, Tita? I bet you agree :p) but you came, again, then you had me, again.

This time, I dont know if you are with someone else alrd or not (no matter what, I still hate you both :)) :p) but I pray for things to change. I am tired, I am so tired. I have just realized how tired I am after I became so angry with you.

God has to put mercy on us.
Eh, no.
God has to put mercy on me. Dont care abt y.▲


Saturday, October 22, 2011

To whom I once called mine

▼Dedicated to someone out there, you know its you, tho I'm not sure you're gonna read this or not.

Hey you.

Listen, I'm sorry for the way I acted that morning. I'm sorry for my words. I'm sorry for stepping out from us with anger. I know, you probably thought that this mess I was angry with was my own fault, but nevertheless, you had me reached my limit. I know, there is no single word about the break up. I mean, a clear sentence like 'we're done' or somewhat. but I know if we both knew, that was the time when everything finally ended. 

But everything I have said to you, you may forget it, or you may remember that as your point of view about me, I dont really care. right now, I dont care if you do or you dont. I dont want to remember you as yourself these two months, I want to remember you as one year we had back then. as if we were once happy, I will remember you as you were, now as what you are right now. I have chosen to be like this. its easier to forget you with angers, since you knew I loved you so. deep down I'm sure I still beat for you, tho its nearly gone. 

As I see our old memories, I dont feel those pains in my chest anymore. plain, as I never expected before. also, I dont remember you anymore whenever I see things that reminded me of you before. I'm not sure I am happy with this situation, because I cant remember that happy feeling you gave me either. but I can say this, no matter what we have became right now, dont affect the fact that once we had are real. 

No matter how fast I have got over you, doesnt mean once I had for you wasnt real. 
I'm sure its either way with you.

We both are just damn good at adapting, at dealing with our thoughts. the fact is, I felt plain already when we havent broken up yet, those times when I was holding on. no matter how hard I suggested myself 'I love you, I can make us work, we can work' its just, my brain walks in a different way. I know I told you those cheesy lines, but, in fact, I started to prepare myself for a break up. that was when I realized, I'm so not the type of person. I just had to realize it myself. so, I'm sorry for being blinded by my childish fears these months. ehe. could have made this easier for both of us tho I didnt regret it :p

Thanks anyway. thanks for everything you gave to me. thanks, for crying over me for the first time (I swear boy cant forget the 1st girl he cries for :P) thanks for everything, I mean this. thanks for your shoulders, thanks for your hug. thanks for being there. thanks for trying. thanks for those chances. I'm sorry I couldnt be the way you expected me to be. I'm sorry for being sucha pain in the ass. I'm sorry for being sooo awesome that you had fallen for me :p

I wish we could be just fine, the next time we meet or communicating. I wish we could be cool. 

But I am so sorry, if I was the one who made us awkward. ehe

Someday, when we both are mature enough to understand about what always happens; life, lets just play together :D going somewhere, have fun, talk about our future lovelife with whoever we end up with, laugh about our stories, and burn that freaky village near the pss stadion where we almost get beaten up :P

Once again. I'm sorry, and thankyou :-)

Take care, and be good Rizky Hani Febrianto :-)▲


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Are you happy without me?
Cz I’m happy without you
You don’t have to feel sorry
Cz I’m happy without you
For all the things we’ve done
For all the things we’ve runaway
You don’t have to feel sorry

I’m not sure if I’m still hoping
But one for sure there’s no sad feeling
Maybe I must admit that I’m happy being alone

Happy Monday.
Happy Tuesday. Happy Wednesday
Everyday is happy day, 
Everyday is something else to face


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Olo Lupita Mayangsari Putri ;)

Joyeux Anniversaire a 20 ans, Lupita Mayangsari Putri!

Aku gatau musti ngomong apa, sumpah, aku gatau kudu ngomong apa lagi buat ndeskripsiin betapa senengnya aku punya sahabat kayak kamu. Aku juga ga ngerti lagi gimana harus ngejelasin betapa beruntungnya aku punya kamu.

Maaf, kalo setelah jauh mungkin kita jadi jarang kontakan. Tapi, satu hal yang aku janjiin, kita bakal selalu deket. Ga peduli mau pisah berapa lama, ga peduli mau lost contact seberapa sering, kamu kamu harus tau, kapanpun kamu butuh aku, aku bakal usaha sekuat aku buat ada. Jika itu lewat telfon. Sms. Kamu punya aku ya disini ;) Jadi, hapus 2ne1-Lonely dari mindtrack kamu, youre not lonely kok, you have mehsss :*

Be strong ya. Aku tau gimana beratnya hidup buat kita berdua #ngemutkapur ;-;


Terima kasih, untuk telah menjadi sahabat terbaik yang anyone could only dream of :-)

Once again, Happy Birthday Brimob :"


Tita Tita Saranghae! 
Love, Nara ;-)

p.s : kyuhyun titip salam :*


Saturday, October 8, 2011

Just like a tattoo

The four-leaf clover is an uncommon variation of the common, three-leaved clover. According to tradition, such leaves bring good luck to their finders, especially if found accidentally. According to legend, each leaf represents something: the first is for faith, the second is for hope, the third is for love, and the fourth is for luck.

Faith is trust, hope and belief in the goodness, trustworthiness or reliability of a person, concept or entity.

Indeed, those are tattoes :P▲


Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Sunday, October 2, 2011

Details in the fabric

Calm down

Deep breaths
Get yourself dressed
Instead of running around
And pulling on your threads
And breaking yourself up
If it’s a broken part, replace it
If it’s a broken arm, then brace it
If it’s a broken heart, then face it
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I’m doing everything
Are the details in the fabric?
Are there things that make you panic?
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?
Are there things that make you blow?
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you’re shocked it’s just the fault of faulty manufacturing
And everything will be fine
Everything, in no time at all
Hearts will hold