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Thursday, September 2, 2010

shit, aku nyesek banget bacanya t_______t

I dont even know why, hell. it has nothing to do with me for fuck sake, then I should really not give a damn. I've tried, you know, I've tried to opened it again with a feeling like 'like hell I'd care' but fuck I did care, I do care -_-
suddenly I remembered that day, when I saw that tears, and it made me feeling like a total pain in the ass. I know I shouldnt feel anything bcs it HAS NOTHING to do with me but still I'm in guilt bcs I've made it worse.
yesterday I did a chat with my junior who has the same problem like mine, but in different case. I told her that I used to think those kind of ppl are annoying, pathetic, torturing themselves, and on and on. and she quite agreeing. but then I said :
"but when I tried to emplace myself in their position, see things from their eyes, feel with their hearts, it did hurt like hell. I dont know if I could stand on their position."
yeah I meant it. imagining if tomorrow... blah
I dont even... double blahs T.T

I know it drains energy&feeling of mine if I keep on remembering. I should really have to forget.
but it came to me as a nightmare and I found myself awake with eyes all opened.
and heart all opened too.

outting ♥

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