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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

hngg :3

Here I am, laying, typing, with Wonderwall playing along. This song always leads my mind to you. We both love this song, aren’t we? You once told me that this song fits us, long way before we ‘re tied. I kinda miss those moments, hahah, I miss those no mention updates, I miss those goodnights, I miss those hellos, I miss those wondering where you had been today (thou I’m still doing it in present;p), I miss wondering what’s on your mind (this one either!), I miss those silly chats, I miss those random texts, I miss checking your profile as my replies page, I miss stalking you, I miss feeling blind, I miss staying up late just to catch up with you, I miss those giggles and laughter and else.

I, somehow, miss that time :B

outting ♥

Monday, December 20, 2010

Galaw selaw

I wonder why recent days I'm feeling like doing nothing's right :( yeah, everything turned out into mistakes and mess and argues and fights and tears. am I that bitch? am I that annoying? huhuhu
I dont know. pressure, perhaps. okay I still have defense for these bitch actions, yeah I'm that baldyhead. my bad.
I'm so sorry for being so selfish. I cudnt see the real, I refuse to see the fact, yet I want everything to go my way. I'm not a perfectionist, but I am a ambitious one. Once I want something, I'll do everything to make it happen. but somehow I really have to learn that things arent always going the way I want.
I am tired, so are they, so are you, so are her, so are everyone.
I'm happily take care of you, but I have to be realistic. I shouldnt expect anything in return :)
kalo mau manja-manja, sama diri sendiri aja Naraaaaaaaaaa :'''p

outting ♥

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

kapan belenggu itu akan benar-benar terlepas?
aku mulai tidak tahan.

outting ♥

Friday, December 3, 2010

It growls, inside of my tummy. I hate this kind of feeling, I barely feel it so.. I really hate it.
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
I hate the fact that something isnt right and I have no idea how is it going and I know its better for me not to ask.
I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
I dont want this, I dont want to feel this way.
..but I do. I am feeling this and its one of those kind of feelings that no one could avoid.
Problems wouldnt last, but the future freaks me out. Sure, it is.

I know, there's nothing we can do about it. All we could do is just pray and believe.

I'm not hoping for any useful suggestion, its beyond our ages, this problem.
I just need to be heard. :(
I have to spill these sick feelings, I have to grumble, I have to lean on.
without any negotiation or confrontation
does it bother so much to hear me without any... rrrgh

forget it.

outting ♥

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I am fine.
Freaked out. Insecure. Nervous. Emotional

outting ♥

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Inequality leads into destruction in a relationship. These two stories, Death by Scrabble and The Unicorn in The Garden, show inequality marriages that end bad. Which in these cases, the wives are more dominate. In some culture and religion, husband should be the one who dominates a marriage. Men are born to be leader, but that doesn’t mean he has to dominate the whole marriage. Men and women are having the same right and they are equal to each other.

Usually, inequality comes from lack of respect situation. For an example, if husband respects his wife as well as he should, he would not be rude or mean to his wife. Nowadays, there’s a lot of violence in marriage. It could be from the husband that feels more superior to the wife so he thinks he could do whatever he wants to his wife. There are a lot of wives that disrespect their husbands too. They feel their husbands are not proper enough to be theirs, or they feel they are greater than the husbands. Underestimating husbands, playing dominate, doing what they want to do without caring their husbands, so on.

In these stories, mutual respect is gone. At Death by Scrabble, The Husband and The Wife are so not into couple anymore. They hate each other so much and likely do random things just to piss off their mates. This story ends with the death of The Husband, by his wife. The writer uses scrabble to symbolize the marriage’s condition in this story. The writer shows the condition from the words they choose to play. They are trying to kill each other with Scrabble that’s jinxed. It symbolizes a condition of an inequality marriage. If we hold on into an inequality marriage without fixing it is just the same as killing ourselves slowly.

At The Unicorn in The Garden, The Wife underestimates The Husband. The Husband seems to be fed up then he throws his wife away and lives happily ever after. It shows that The Husband is unhappy living together with his wife. It also shows an inequality marriage.

The Husband in Death by Scrabble is described as pathetic 42-years-old that lives under the pressure of his wife. He grumbles a lot about how sad living a marriage with his wife, but somehow he is too afraid of saying all of those grumbles directly to his wife.

“It’s a hot day and I hate my wife. We’re playing Scrabble. That’s how bad it is. I’m 42 years old, it’s a blistering hot Sunday afternoon and all I can think of to do with my life is to play Scrabble.” (“Death by Scrabble” line 1-3)

“Clack, clack, clack. I hate her. If she wasn’t around I’d be doing something interesting right now.” (“Death by Scrabble” line 8-9)

“For some reasons, I hate her more.” (“Death by Scrabble” line 28)

“This is why I hate my wife.” (“Death by Scrabble” line 31)

“..and I’m going to start hitting her again and again and again.” (Death by Scrabble, line 37)

“I really, really hate her.” (“Death by Scrabble” line 48)

“If only there was some way for me to get rid of her.” (“Death by Scrabble” line 55)

It states that his time with his wife is boring but he can’t do anything about that. If a marriage walks equally, couple can compromise things. The Husband actually can compromise if he hates playing Scrabble. They both can find any other solution that makes they both happy. Also he hates his wife. He keeps repeating how much he hates his wife, and how every little thing she does is annoying in his eyes. He seems to keep the hatred inside but he doesn’t brave enough to show it. Their marriage seems to be controlled by his wife. It’s quite different with The Husband at The Unicorn in The Garden. The Husband in The Unicorn in The Garden may look like a fool from the start by seeing a white unicorn in the garden but at the end he’s the one who fools his wife. Actually, these two men have the same hatred with their wives, but The Husband in The Unicorn in The Garden seems to be smarter than The Husband in Death by Scrabble. The Husband in the Unicorn in The Garden pays his revenge because he really doesn’t like being underestimate. The wife underestimates him and at first The Husband can only keep quiet. It shows an inequality marriage. Underestimating people only comes if one person feels greater than the other. It’s not impossible if person who’s being underestimates hurts but keeps it all inside.

“His wife sat up in bed and looked at him coldly. “You are a booby” she said. “and I am going to have you put in a bobby-hatch.” The man who never liked the words “booby” and “booby-hatch” and who liked them even less on a shining morning when there was a unicorn in the garden thought for a moment “We’ll see about that.” he said.” (“The Unicorn in The Garden” line 9-13)

It’s like revenges. He traps his wife so that his wife is the one who shut in an institution by police and psychiatrist that she herself calls. Situational irony. The Husband seems already fed up with his wife’s attitude. His wife knows how much he hates “booby” and “booby-hatch” but still she calls her husband so.

The Wife, both in The Unicorn in The Garden and Death by Scrabble is seem to be heartlessly don’t care about The Husband. The Wife at Death by Scrabble is described as annoying, mean, boring by The Husband’s point of view. Thou the hatred seems to be equal, seems like The Wife is more dominant on their marriage than The Husband

“My wife sleeps all the time. She slept through an argument our next-neighbours had that resulted in a broken door, a smashed TV and a Teletubby Lala doll with all the stuff coming out. And then she bitched me for being moody the next day from lack of sleep.” (“Death by Scrabble” line 52-54)

“It’s the hottest day for ten years and my wife is turning on the kettle.” (“Death by Scrabble, line 34)

It shows that The Wife is doing what she wants to do without caring about what her husband’s reaction, as she turns on the kettle on the hottest day. The Wife seems to be egoistic and dominate.

Both of these stories end with one who stays and one who kicked out. It shows that inequality marriages really lead to destruction. Lack of respect, underestimating each other, feeling greater than the other, are reasons why there is an inequality in marriage. In marriage, men and women are equal. They should respect each other as same as the others do. No one is greater than the others. Marriage should lead to happiness, not to destruction.

outting ♥

Monday, November 22, 2010

its the way I love you

its the way you wait for me outside my house
its the way you say hello
its the way you giggle whenever I look so goofy
its the way you laugh at me
its the way you yawn and lay your head on me
its the way you bite my hand, and you let me bite you
its the way you listen to my stories, my dreams, my thoughts, my grumbles
its the way you pinch my cheeks and my nose
its the way you mad because I act like a bitch
its the way you stare with your round eyes
its the way you force me to express my feelings
its the way you hug me
its the way you ask me to lay my head on your waist
its the way you play with your cute lashes
its the way you slap me, over and over again
its the way you grumble because our provider ruins our night
its the way you say goodnight
its the way you hold my hand and put in on your chest
its the way you play with my hair
its the way you eat something spicy
its the way you react when you see me on your back
its the way you forgive me
its the way you keep quiet when you're upset
its the way you play fake
its the way you insist to stay when I yell and ask you to go
its the way you look me at the eyes
its the way you do nothing
its the way you drive me crazy
its the way you make me miss you so bad
its the way you steal my heart, over and over again

I love you, that much.

outting ♥

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Its gonna be such a hardwork one month forward. Yeah, its nearly December. It means PK, final term, assigments's deadlines, orientation, those are few steps ahead. Oh my, December has two faces; I hate those upcoming dates but on a lighter note... I cant wait till holiday :3

Anyway just watched Sketsa Robot 2.0 from Teater Sastra UI last night, damn I miss playing theatre. A lot. Great perfomance they had, btw. Love the robotic gesture a lot :> The costume, eitherrrr♥ CUTE :D Hahah anyway it ended at 12, after that me Mitha Danny Reza were heading to Tebet's Dejons to have our late dinner. Its almost 2 a.m when I got home, kinda afraid the security would have locked down the gate =____= A bit traumatic from that night when me&him were locked down outside my house sinced 1 a.m till 2 a.m because my mom's phone was on silent mode. Here, last night, I didnt have him on my side, so I was... afraid :'''''p

anyway, I love this quote

" Missing someone gets easier everyday coz even though its one day further from the last time you saw each other, its one day closer to the next time you will. "

outting ♥

Friday, November 19, 2010

Kuharap itu cukup, sayang.

Aku berusaha mencari simbolisasi tentang keberadaanku disisimu.

Pada awalnya, aku ingin menjadi udara.
Udara yang selalu kamu hirup setiap saat, selalu membuatmu hidup, selalu ada untukmu walau kadang kamu lupakan. Meresap kedalam setiap keping darahmu, memberikan nyawa untukmu.
Namun aku tidak ingin jika aku tak ada, kamu mati. Aku ingin kamu tetap hidup bahkan setelah aku pergi, kepergian dalam bentuk apapun.
Namun tekankan, aku tidak akan pernah berniat untuk pergi.
Maka udara kucoret dari daftarku.

Aku ingin menjadi bola sepak.
Ya, bola bundar itu. Aku suka saat melihat kamu bermain bola, entah secara langsung maupun secara virtual. Aku suka melihat kamu melakukan hal kegemaranmu, aku suka melihat kamu bersemangat, aku suka melihat kamu bahagia. Aku ingin menjadi hal yang bisa membuat kamu bahagia.
Namun aku tidak ingin dioper oper, aku tidak ingin dibagi bagi, aku tidak ingin diperebutkan. Aku ingin ada buat kamu, namun sepertinya main bola sendirian itu kurang asik.
Aku suka menghabiskan waktu berdua denganmu, tapi aku juga suka saat kamu senang saat berkumpul dengan teman-temanmu.
Tidak boleh egois, maka bola sepak pun kulewati.

Kubayangkan menjadi musik. Aku ingin menjadi musik.
Ya, aku tahu kamu suka musik, aku juga. Kita berdua suka musik, dan musik selalu hadir di setiap obrolan. Entah itu lipsync, sindiran, ledekan, atau ungkapan perasaan. Musik selalu dapat menemani di dalam setiap keadaan, hanya butuh playlist yang tepat.
Namun, musik itu terlalu luas. Sedangkan aku tidak bisa memilih spesifikasi musik untukmu, karna ada waktu dan situasi yang berbeda untuk tiap lagu. Lagi, musik dapat menjadi hal yang paling kubenci, karna dapat menyeret memori yang seharusnya sudah terkubur. Musik terlalu labil dan luas, tidak.
Karena, aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yang stabil untukmu.

Terfikir akan hal yang lain, namun selalu saja ada kekurangannya. Aku ingin menjadi sempurna buat kamu, namun kesempurnaan tidak pernah bisa disimbolkan, selain Tuhan tentunya. Sepertinya tidak ada hal yang dapat menggambarkan keinginan ini.

Lalu kuputuskan, aku ingin menjadi diriku sendiri. Aku, yang akan berusaha untuk menjadi apa yang kamu ingin, kamu butuh, kamu harap, namun tetap dalam konteks 'aku'. Maaf jika aku tidak bisa menjadi kesempurnaan untuk kamu, maaf jika terkadang kamu kesal dan semacam ingin memasukkanku ke peti lalu dikirim ke Antartika, maaf jika aku gagal memenuhi ekspektasimu tentang pasangan ideal.

Aku tidak bisa menjanjikan apapun selain satu hal; Aku akan berusaha hingga aku kehilangan rasa kesanggupan.

Aku harap itu cukup.

outting ♥

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I have so many things on my mind.

The problem is.. I dont even know from what I would write. I dont even know what am I going to write, but I feel like miss blogging quite much after a week of internet-disconnection at my dorm.

I had fun last friday, yea that fun, but it turns out to be a guilt. deep real guilt. I know I'm not supposed to feel that but I know if I go on like that, I'll be damned. I really really have to make up my mind (.__. )( .__.)

Merapi is getting awful and terrible and frustating. A lot of ppl dead and now tons of people are evacuating, including mom&ale. They with grandma are moving down to Colombo. Well I really want to go there, but dad&boyf arent allowed me, better next week as the main plan. hrrrr okay =3=

know what? I really cant wait for this weekend :}

outting ♥


” Distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love.
Although you may feel like you are losing faith in your relationship at times, hold fast and trust your heart!
I, like you, truly believe that love & relationships are what make your life special, and that ones built on love & understanding are always worth preserving, regardless of the miles that may separate two people. “

- by Stephen Blake.

outting ♥

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Lifes, in recent.

migraine strikes me tonight. errgh suddenly I feel weak, and labile. this kind of pain could really boost down my mood. wtf
life goes up and down these days, but I feel happy. spent these 2 weekends with friends. watched eat pray love and sat down and chitchatted at coffee toffee, yeah life's good. moreover mid term will be held these weeks after. wish me luck :3

things got easier for me, I mean, this kind of adaptation. its been 3 months for me, living here, studying, approaching friends, adapting. I got those cool new fellas that help me and my lonesome heheh B"> we're getting close, english litareture paralel class I mean, and I enjoyed going back home late with them just like I used to when I was on school. I kinda miss those moments :')

next, I got some cool plans with my ladieees :D first, we have 'saving plan' which issss saving for buying things that we want without asking parents :> haha it will be held for 2 weeks at first, but I'm ready if we add some more ;p second, we have 'fund rising plan' huahahaha yeah we really want to work, produce moneysss$$$ but because it was still a secret, let it be a secret :P third is.. my own plan actually. healthy food :3 I feel my body is getting weak and I have serious trouble with my sleeping time, so I have to be healthy. lets start it from which food I will eat. picky picky picky lets get picky :>

anyway, Deaz's daddy had gone last sunday :'''''( I respected him, he's a good good man, and I know how much Deaz loved him. ergh, I mean loves him. she would never stop it :) I feel bad, really bad for could not being there, offering my ears and my shoulders to her. I'm sorry sweetheart, but I'm praying for your mommy and your strength. God never gives obstacles that human cannot pass. I love you, Deazty Caprina Minjarani, stay strong :''')

he's good anyway. our is good until now :) and hope for ... ever? hahah we could only hope, eh? life has its own path and I do trust God will show whats best for us :) for sure, I love him. I meant it when I said to him once if words fail to describe, because I really could not find any suitable words for it. I'm glad he's mine, and I'm proud to be his. hello sleepyhead, I'm longing to see you again, I miss you quite terribly :*

anyway, while I am typing this, Merapi has errupting and it began to ash-rained at Kaliurang and those nearby. there's a tsunami flooded Mentawai after two earthquakes hitted it. Jakarta also drown flooded because of this stupid weather =,= God, please I'm begging you, bless Indonesia. forgive us, save us, protect us. Bismillahi wallahualam.

outting ♥

Thursday, October 21, 2010


speak to me, lonesome, why do you come to my senses?
I got sunshine on my day
I got moon on my night
speak to me, lonesome, why do you come to my senses just now?

outting ♥

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen kangen

aku KANGEN ! hiks

outting ♥

Thursday, October 14, 2010

cinta dalam diam

Seseorang pernah mengukir untaian baris kata:

"Bila belum siap melangkah lebih jauh dengan seseorang, cukup cintai ia dalam diam..."

Karena diammu adalah salah satu bukti cintamu padanya.

Kau ingin memuliakan dia, dengan tidak mengajaknya menjalin hubungan yang terlarang,

karena kau tak mau merusak kesucian dan penjagaan hatinya.

Karena diammu memuliakan kesucian diri dan hatimu.

Menghindarkan dirimu dari hal-hal yang akan merusak izzah dan iffahmu.

Karena diammu adalah bukti kesetiaanmu padanya.

Karena mungkin saja orang yang kau cinta adalah juga orang yang telah Allah pilihkan untukmu.

Ingatkah kalian tentang kisah Fatimah dan Ali?

Yang keduanya saling memendam apa yang mereka rasakan.

Hingga pada akhirnya mereka dipertemukan dalam ikatan suci nan indah.

Karena dalam diammu tersimpan kekuatan. Kekuatan harapan.

Hingga mungkin saja Allah akan membuat harapan itu menjadi nyata hingga cintamu yang diam itu dapat berbicara dalam kehidupan nyata.

Bukankah Allah tak akan pernah memutuskan harapan hamba yang berharap padanya?

Dan jika memang 'cinta dalam diammu' itu tak memiliki kesempatan untuk berbicara di dunia nyata, biarkan ia tetap diam.

Jika dia memang bukan milikmu,

toh Allah, melalui waktu akan menghapus 'cinta dalam diammu' itu dengan memberi rasa yang lebih indah dan orang yang tepat.

Biarkan 'cinta dalam diammu' itu menjadi memori tersendiri dan sudut hatimu menjadi rahasia antara kau dengan Sang Pemilik hatimu,

hanya antara kau dan Dia.

outting ♥

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

perfect 9

so last saturday, 9 October 2010, I spent it with him :3 how come? hahah yeaa I went to Jogja, without letting him know :3
I'm arrived at saturday morning around 6 a.m then went to Anin's house at 10 :3 I said to him I got a package which he should took at Anin's. I hide inside the house, he came and sat outside, Anin gave him an envelope containing letter 'hai :3'
he saw it and was like 'wtf what is this, a hai?' then I knocked on the window behind him, then waved my hand said 'hi' :3

Gosh how I love that look on his face :))

then, we spent the rest of the day together :3

but then I realized if all of these were a bad bad bad idea. I mean, if I could only spend a day with him, I nearly lost my patience. I nearly lost my self control. its like, the feeling that screams 'why I cant do this everyday? why I cant be with him everyday? why?'

and it took two days before I finally could control my self ._.

I wonder when I could see him again. its near to UTS, quizzes weeks, tasks's deadlines, even UAS -____-
perhaps.. stick to the main plan. January :)

however, thanks for that day :}

outting ♥

Sunday, October 3, 2010


klik aja gambarnya biar gede :3

outting ♥

finally :D


I'm hoping she's the one for youuu :D
I saw you cried for girls twice (or more? not counting :0) and I dont wanna see it again
I love you as my best best best buddy ever :3

outting ♥

Friday, October 1, 2010

You make me happy whether you know it or not
We should be happy, that's what I said from the start
I am so happy knowing you are the one
That I want for the rest of my days, for the rest of my days
Through all of my days

You're looking so cool, you're looking so fly
I can't deny that when I'm staring you down right dead in the eye
I wanna try to be the person you want
The person you need, it's hard to conceive
That somebody like you could be with someone like me

I'm happy knowing that you are mine
The grass is greener on the other side
The more I think, the more I wish
That we could lay here for hours and just reminisce
Uh, oh, oh

You're looking so fresh, it's catching my eye
Why oh, why did I not see this before
The boy I adore was right in front of me
And now I'll take a step back and look in your eye
And ask why it took so long to see we're meant to be

On the good, the bad, the ugly
The smiles, the laughs, the funny
Or all the things we put each other through
It's for you, for you, for you

la-la-la :3

outting ♥

Hitung nafas yang kelak berat

Kau ‘kan sakit dan pergi

Tanpa waktu yang pasti

Selamanya, selamanya

Melawan hati yang tak pernah padam

Akan hilang..

Ucapkan maaf

Dan kau pun ‘kan tetap disini

Selamanya, selamanya


outting ♥

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

at first I made this by pencil yesterday at MPKT's *yea again and again, that superboring class* and this morning I finished it.

with his old messy-wavy-long hair style.

anw aku ngapusnya belom bersih ._. hik malu nggak telaten :'B

outting ♥

Sunday, September 26, 2010

college& things around

its been weeks since I started my college year, and I'm getting myself adapt to it.
everything's new, eh?
the town, the room, the friends, the environment, the habit, everything
thanks God my friends here are superniceee! :B but still I miss them at Jogja. hiks. but we keep in touch until now. hopefully forever amen :3

and soo I started to study again -,- its been a while and I was like oh-my-God I have forgotten those english thingies that I learned on high school. but overall college is nice :3 I got 3 days off a week. tuesday, saturday, sunday. at monday and friday I have a full morning-till-evening classes -_____-

here's some picts of those college-corner at my room :3

mess -,-

the books

sticky :3

classes ;3

tasks -_-

hahah mess uh? :3
anw, at MPKT class (which is bored like hell) I made a random hand-drawing (its not that good to being categorized as sketch) here :

*isinya curhat bgt gila -___-*

after that, I finally decided to buy sketchbook :3 a tiny one so I could always bring it at class.

and its 1/4 full now. I bet you all know whats the main inspiration inside *tee-hee*

Friday, September 24, 2010

the distance makes us real

the distance makes us real - yellowbirddd

i know you got a little secret in your mouth
spit it out i'm listening harder than i ever have before

i know you got a little secret in your heart
spit it out i'm listening harder than i ever have before

cause you're my weakness
oh i will run so fast to your feet
yeah all your sweetness
so bright in your smile
shining out through your teeth

and i drift along these streets
with my palms raised out from my hips
waiting on a song to grace the soft talk of my lips
they always bear your name so elegant and true
another story that begs the question of what we'll tumble into

oh we can build this on independence
like 4th of july
let your fears fade away
like smoke in the sky

oh you don't have to worry
i think the distance makes us real
this space is not a barricade
it just leaves more room left to feel

on my back in your bedroom
i remember trembling in bliss
i felt something then
oh i know that it exists

so let me pull you closer now
there don't have to any rules
i like taking this slower
i'm tired of rushing like a fool

what i'd do to just lay with you
climb that ladder to your loft
i'll always buy the ticket
i don't care of the cost
cause you can't place a price on what i believe
so let me take your hand and place it on my heartbeat


I got this song from http://fyeahlongdistancerelationships.tumblr.com/ hahah I often take a look on that site these days. It helps, knowing that there are others who just like us, dealing distance and time.
and this song, it fits :3

outting ♥

Thursday, September 23, 2010


be with the one who stays with you thou you're at your worst, you're in ruin. thou you yell at him 'just leave me' and it hurts him, but he still stays, calls you, forgives you, understands you, loves you.

at a second, I hope the time stops, so I could always feel that breeze, in my heart, just like whenever I hear your voice :3

p.s : kalo tiap drop ditelfon gini, drop terus aaah :------p

outting ♥

Monday, September 20, 2010



Tapi kamu tidak tahu bahwa tadi saya sedikit berbohong. Nyatanya, jika kamu periksa jok motor saya, terdapat sebuah jas hujan yang baru dibeli tadi siang dan masih bagus. Hehehe, maafkan saya. Saya hanya merasa, ini malam yang terlalu bagus untuk diakhirkan dengan berhujan-hujanan di bawah mantrol.

Dan di emperan toko itu, kita duduk berdua. Saya rasa, relativitas terjadi bukan hanya pada prespektif pandangan terhadap sebuah benda saja. Tetapi pada apa saja.

Karena saya merasa hangat ketika malah hujan semakin deras.

Karena saya merasa enak ketika hawa menjadi semakin dingin.

Karena relativitas saya bukan lagi terhadap alam, tetapi kepadamu yang sedang tersenyum.



Di tengah perjalanan pulang, tiba tiba rintik air jatuh dari langit.
"Emm, aku nggak bawa jas hujan, gimana kalau kita berteduh dulu?"

Saya terserah kamu. Lalu kamu memarkir motormu di tepi toko kecil. Kita pun duduk duduk di depan garasi toko yang sudah tutup itu.

Kamu tahu, saya paling tidak suka dibohongi. Dibohongi apa saja oleh siapa saja. Dan dengan alasan apa saja. Namun entah kenapa, hari ini, kebohonganmu adalah pengecualian.

Saya tahu kamu berbohong soal jas hujan itu. Mungkin kamu lupa, kalau siang tadi kamu mengirimkan pesan padaku kamu mau membeli jas hujan baru? Tapi aku pura pura lupa. Lebih nyaman duduk di sini, berteduh di tepi jalan, dengan musik paling romantis-rintik hujan, sambil berbincang bincang. Dengan kamu.

"Hujannya sudah reda? Yuk? Aku takut kamu kemaleman."
Aku mengangguk. Meskipun boleh saja kalau tiba tiba hujan turun lagi.

Eh, kalau semua perjalanan kita hari ini, bukan bohongan kan?

reblogged from mbak Andin's

at first when I saw this, I remembered that night. our first night as a couple. after almost a month we're tied.
you picked me up at 7.30. I went downstair and then sat down, you came with your motorcycle and stopped behind my parked car. I walked to you, do you know if I felt so damn nervous at that night? do you know while I was waiting for you, I kept wondering what could it be I'm facing someone who has been my boyf for almost a month but at the last time I saw him we were only friends?
but you came. yeah. we drove down to cinema, bought tickets for one hour later, and then decided to look for fluff gibs near your school. then we went to balaikota, and there we burn it! we threw the fluff gib to each of us, and I'm sorry for threw it to your nose :'p
soon we realized that we're almost late for the movie, headed back to cinema. after that, rain fell down a bit. stopped by CK to bought hot chocolates and did some chat then went back home. but in a rush, the rain got heavier. we stopped by the house of strangers that seemed empty. we lighted on the fluff gib again. we sat, we waited, we chatted, all I know, we were together. lonely midnight. heavy rain. nobody else. just us :)
yeah I remember when we trapped on that heavy rain when I saw that post.
its true, anyway :B
it supposed to be cold because its raining and we're wet, but I felt warm :B
it supposed to be uncomfy but I didnt wanna leave :B
and from that night, finally, I could feel you.
right by my side. right at my heart
thank you :)
see you soon, sugar :3
I love you so much till words fail to describe:*

outting ♥

Sunday, September 19, 2010

look at his face! ♥


what in the earth si preman gangster satu ini tau2 sok imut dikucir empat gini? jengjengjeng dia kalah taruhan sama aku hahaha as usual sih sebenernya dia kalah, padahal dia yang nantang :p
jadi, waktu itu kita jalan ke amplaz mau nonton darah garuda. tapi yang jam 15.20 udah telat, akhirnya kita beli yang jam 17.30. masih ada dua jam, akhirnya kita muter2 trus ke tamansari. habis itu, kita ke gfan >:)
then, we both buy 15bucks, and playing around gfan with battle mode: ON >:) I won 4 times, he won 1 time muahaha >:) jadi dia dikucir 4 trus takfoto trus diupload fb jadiin profpic >:)
before, profpic fb-nya dia fotonya shah rukh khan :))

tapi sumpah foto shah rukh khannya nggathel banget aku gak kuat *padahal yo aku yg milih* mending diganti foto dia yg dikuncir 4 sih walau sama nggathelnya :""""B

outting ♥

Saturday, September 18, 2010

its over

my two amazing weeks were over, and now me here all alone at kosan, surfing, geez
actually there's plenty of unfinished tasks but I miss blogging :"3

the truth is.... Jogja is long way to go :'|
4 months? seems like it is. geez 4 months *grumbling* I cant imagine it for fck sake, living one month back then kills, 4? bury me -_____-

do you know what makes it even harder? when he wrote those sentences in my hand, esp this one :

he wrote that right at my last night there. and when I woke up at the day I left, saw that sentence, felt like wanna tear up my ticket and stay at Jogja. but thats nearly impossible, eh? :"")

geez, its still less than 6 hours sinced I saw you but I miss you already. Fuck -,-

outting ♥

Thursday, September 16, 2010

we'll see

kita liat aja ya.
s c r e w y o u , p a t h e t i c !

outting ♥

Sunday, September 12, 2010


LOVE was made for me and y-o-u :}

outting ♥

Monday, September 6, 2010

"thanks for making me sure if all of these are real
thanks for being real
real, no longer fake, aint we?"

outting ♥

Friday, September 3, 2010


"..neduh dulu aja. gak ada gale ya disitu? \m/"

"gak ada nih, kamu juga gak ada uhuu"

"hee apaan tuh tumben reaksinya kaya gitu :p"

you often say that I barely tell you this and that
I barely tell you what I feel inside
perhaps, maybe,
words are not good enough to represent what I wanna say
its not good enough to represent what I feel

I am sorry, sorry for not knowing how to tell you I love you so much, sorry for not knowing how to explain I miss you like hell, sorry for not knowing how to say I need you that bad.
just because I hardly tell you doesnt mean I dont feel it.
convince yourself that I will always feel it :)

words fail mine
or perhaps, I'm bad at words
you would say I do, I really do eh? uh uh :B
you're not that good neither anw :p

outting ♥

Thursday, September 2, 2010

shit, aku nyesek banget bacanya t_______t

I dont even know why, hell. it has nothing to do with me for fuck sake, then I should really not give a damn. I've tried, you know, I've tried to opened it again with a feeling like 'like hell I'd care' but fuck I did care, I do care -_-
suddenly I remembered that day, when I saw that tears, and it made me feeling like a total pain in the ass. I know I shouldnt feel anything bcs it HAS NOTHING to do with me but still I'm in guilt bcs I've made it worse.
yesterday I did a chat with my junior who has the same problem like mine, but in different case. I told her that I used to think those kind of ppl are annoying, pathetic, torturing themselves, and on and on. and she quite agreeing. but then I said :
"but when I tried to emplace myself in their position, see things from their eyes, feel with their hearts, it did hurt like hell. I dont know if I could stand on their position."
yeah I meant it. imagining if tomorrow... blah
I dont even... double blahs T.T

I know it drains energy&feeling of mine if I keep on remembering. I should really have to forget.
but it came to me as a nightmare and I found myself awake with eyes all opened.
and heart all opened too.

outting ♥

Tuesday, August 31, 2010


fed up sama facebook sendiri. geez!

outting ♥

Monday, August 30, 2010



happy 18 sayang, thou its been an ass days lately but its yours now :*

terimakasih karna telah menjadi sahabat tersayang selama hampir 6,5 tahun ini, dan semoga selamanya, amin

kalo ditanya sejak kapan kita sahabatan, aku lupa hloh.

sejak kapan ya? hahaha

setauku dulu aku sahabatan sama ukky, dan kamu sama ayu.

tapi trus kita tau2 tinguk2 berdua kaya gini.

haha ampe ada scene rebut2an? *ups ups ups* :p

mm kita belum pernah berantem gitu kan ya nin? hahah

belum pernah bener2 saklek marah gitu

belum pernah bener2 kesel

uwaw kita keren \:D/

inget ngga waktu si ehem yg pertamanya deketnya sm aku, tp njuk malah jadinya sama kamu? dan aku malah sm adek kelasnya? walau ga berstatus gitu akunya :p

aku pengen marah sm kamu, tp aku gakbisa, hiks

btw aku jadi inget nick stillwaidh ckakakak bukunya di kamu bukaan? :D

inget ngga waktu kita suka jalan2 berdua walau ngga jelas ngapain dan muter lama soalnya cuma bingung mau makan dimana -,-

kalo ngga kita yang ngebis bareng

nunggu sambil maem es krim di kfc atau kamu nganterin aku beli hot chord di deket bunderan :p

waktu kita duduk di lapangan depan, aku lagi online, dan kamu cerita sampe kamu ngulang2in terus soalnya aku ga fokus malah ninggal kamu? maaf ya -,-

waktu aku bobok di rumahmu, malem2, pas udah setengah merem, eh sapunya jatuh!

njuk kita ngekek sambil takut -__- hi purwo serem hi :p

waktuuuuu kita nongkrong2 ngga jelas di kantin dkz njuk aku dikatain autis blablabla -_-

waktu kamu nganterin aku foto buat gadsam ihi ihi :p heahahahaha

waktu kamu nungguin aku nge-ddr di gale :D

waktu aku kecelakaan njuk kamu sm temen2 nyusul ke SD muh sagan?

aaaa banyak ya nin ampe bingung mau ngetik yang mana aja :”D

akhirnya kita lulus. aku masuk teladan kamu masuk namche.

aku inget banget smsmu waktu itu

maaf ya teman, diantara kalian cuma aku yang ga masuk SMA favorit

namche favorit juga kan nin? :)

dan sekarang? ending pointnya, kamu anak sastra inggris FIB UGM nin :)

aku sempet takut, takut banget kita bakal ga deket lagi setelah kamu masuk namche

takut kita terlalu larut sama dunia baru kita

takut kita jadi beda, ga kayak dulu lagi

aku takut kita bakal jauh

eh ternyata, kita tetep deket, alhamdulillah ampe sekarang :D dan semoga untuk selamanya :D

ga pernah ada kata mantan sahabat kan nin?

ga ada. kita bakal sahabatan terus sampe matamu belo.

berarti sampe waktu yang ga mungkin bisa diketahui heahaha cinoo cino sipit

anin :D

anin yang aku kenal itu,

anin yang suka banget ketawa :D sama senyum2 sendiri nggak jelas :D

anin cantik kalo senyum :)

tapi jadi imbisil karena kebanyakan ketawa, dan kadar keimbisilanmu itu berbanding lurus dengan pertambahan umur huh :p

oh-my-god besok kamu kalo udah gede gimana ya :/

super gigantic imbisil -,-

anin yang bakat jadi anak ilang, wkwk

anin yang suaranya bagus bangeeeeet masya allah :)

anin yang jago main keyboard :>

anin yang manut sama orang tuaa :D maaf ya om, tante, saya suka nyulik anak ini -,-

anin yang selalu tau aku kenapa

anin yang selalu tau aku lagi sedih padahal aku udah keluarin jurus akting bahagia seribu bangau memecah senja *uopoh na*

anin yang kaya anak kecil :3

anin yang cina pendek putih sipit dan lain lain :p :p

anin yang kuat :D

kamu emang pernah nangis, kamu emang pernah drop, kamu emang pernah down

tapi anin yang nara kenal adalah anin yang ngga pernah terpuruk lama

anin yang nara kenal, anin yang selalu bisa bangkit dengan cepat

anin yang nara kenal, anin yang sudah tumbuh dewasa

anin yang nara kenal, adalah anin yang ini. :)

kamu inget, waktu aku mau berangkat, kita pelukan seperti teletubies

dan aku ngomong


sek aku lupa aku ngomong apa. bosok ya? tapi aku inget kok kalo disitu momennya mengharukan uooh :p

tapi aku beneran lupa aku ngomong apa -,- jadi aku karang lagi ya disini ehe :p

anin harus kuat. anin boleh sedih, itu wajar, tapi anin harus bisa berdiri sendiri dan kembali happy kaya biasanya. masalah itu ada. pasti ada. tapi pernah denger peribahasa nothing lasts forever? so does problem sayang. inget aja, masalahpun nggak ada yang abadi. jadi sabar, jembarkan ati :3

maaf aku ngga bisa selalu ada buat kamu. maaf aku udah gabisa nemenin disisi kamu kalo kamu lagi butuh, tapi aku selalu disini, dan kamu tau gimana cara ngehubungin aku, aku bakal berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk selalu ada buat kamu :) yeay I love you so much Anindita Wisesa, friends forever? sure we are :)

selamat ulang tahun sayang :) kadonya nyusul kalo aku ke jogja yaa muah :*

sekali lagi selamat ulang tahun

all wishes come true :)

and for all your next step, make sure you know I'm behind you :)

outting ♥